


Bittersweet

by sqwid



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, Coming of Age, Drama, Drug Use, Established Relationship, Fluff, Growing Up, Hospitalization, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minor Violence, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Self-Harm, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, side polyamory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-03-07 13:50:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 42,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13436079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sqwid/pseuds/sqwid
Summary: Craig and Tweek's relationship, despite having sprouted from the strangest of circumstances, grew into something real. With tender care and proper watering, any sapling can prosper, but not even the prettiest garden is free of its thorns and weeds. And, if you don't make sure protect it, so much as a gust of wind can uproot it. After all, eight years is a long time to care for a plant, so it might just be impossible for it to reach maturity without losing a few leaves, that is, if it survives at all.





	1. Planting a Seed

We both knew that this time it wasn’t for the town. It was for us.

We didn’t do anything because anyone else wanted us to, we did it because we wanted to; because it just felt right; because we made each other feel things that we never had before.

Without even really having to say anything about it, we both knew that we were no longer faking it. Holding hands, hanging out with each other, caring for each other, it was all genuine. We wanted to do it. Given how easily this came to me, I was surprised. I never really had any doubts about my sexuality before the incident with the Asian girls and Tweek, and to suddenly realize how gay I was had come sort of as a shock to me. Despite that, however, being with Tweek came easily. If being gay was what it took to be with Tweek, then I had no problems with it. Besides, after my dad came to talk to me the night before we got together, I felt a lot better about accepting it. If he could accept me, I could accept me.

So, in spite of pretty much having myself be embarrassed in front of the entire town of South Park and framed to look like a manipulative cheater, what had happened was probably one of the best things to have happened to me. I haven’t been happier since Tweek and I got together. He’s been really good for me too. At least I think so. Before we got together, I was known for being the troublemaker, for being a cold asshole, for not caring about anything or anyone. But now, I do have someone I care about. More than just how I put up with Clyde, Token and Jimmy’s bullshit, or how I enjoy watching Red Racer. Even more than how I cared about Stripe, which seemed heinous to even think, but it was true. Tweek changed me, and I wasn’t expecting that from someone who I always viewed as just a spaz.

Don’t get me wrong, Tweek is great. I’ll take all the bad with the good. Sure, he can get really emotional and paranoid, and he freaks out a lot, however, I love all that about him. I love being able to care for him and help him calm down and just be there for him. After all, seeing him happy makes me happy. His presence just comforts me.  He’s really just fun to hang out with too. No matter what we do, spending time with him is just always a great time.

So, even as the town stopped caring about us, and we didn’t have to be together anymore, we stayed together. We wanted to be together. And thus, we obtained the badge of official boyfriends.

And it was good.

Sure, it wasn’t perfect. We had our ups and downs, but I think the downs just helped us grow stronger. When Tweek was panicking over North Korea, I learned a new way to help talk him through his emotional freakouts. When we “broke up” for a hot minute over playing superheroes, we learned how to get through it and came out stronger.

Since then, it’s been even better.

I’m proud to be Tweek’s boyfriend I love to hold his hand at school and take him to the movies and the amusement park. Is it cheesy to say that I love to show him off? Even if no one else really gives a shit anymore, I don’t want anyone to forget.

Hell, I didn’t really let anyone forget, specifically not my friends at school.

I made sure to formally induct Tweek into my group of friends. He had hung out with them and I before, but he was never really a former member of my “gang.” However, there was no way I would let him not be now. Clyde, Token and Jimmy had taken a real liking to him too, but why wouldn’t they?

Tweek and I became more than just boyfriends because of this too. He ate lunch with us more and joined us when we all hung out at each other’s houses. We were all friends now. We were boyfriends and good friends, which made it even better.

Even now, while normally hanging out at Token’s house was great, it was even better now that Tweek was here to join us.

* * *

 

“Do you guys want to watch another movie?” Token asks, stretching out his arms as he speaks up, turning to the rest of us.

“I’m always up for a marathon,” Clyde responds with a grin, getting a nod of agreement from Jimmy before looking to me and Tweek as if expecting with me to agree for a continuation of our movie fest. I wanted to say yes, but after checking my phone when the movie ended, I didn’t think I was going to be able to stick around for much longer. My parents wanted me home for dinner and my dad was upset that I hadn’t been answering his calls during the movie. Dammit. I sigh, quickly texting them an apology and that I’d be home soon.

“Sorry guys, I need to get home.”

“Really? But it’s Friday night?” Clyde pouts, sitting up to sit facing me.

“That s-s-s-sucks,” Jimmy frowns as well, “We could all h-h-hang out this w-we… w-we…. This weekend?”

“Really, but this weekend should be good,” I shrug and stand up, glancing at Tweek as he hasn’t said anything yet. Before he can, Token gets up as well and speaks up.

“I can ask my parents to drive you home?”

“No, it’s fine, I’ll walk back, I don’t really want to get home too quickly anyway,” I shake my head, and finally, Tweek joins in on the conversation, standing up as Token sits back by Clyde.

“I’ll come with you! My parents wanted me home soon too,” I smile slightly at that. Tweek and I both knew that his parents wouldn’t care when he came home. I wasn’t going to say anything though, as while I enjoyed spending time with the whole gang, I hadn’t had any alone time with my boyfriend all day. So, a walk home together would be nice.

“Alright, see you tomorrow or something then,” Token nods and sits back down with Clyde and Jimmy. They would probably hang out longer into the night, which I had no problem with. I was just excited to walk back with Tweek now, so I didn’t hesitate to take his hand and lead him out of Token’s room.

We don’t say anything as we walk downstairs and cross through Token’s first floor to his front door, but as soon as we’re outside, I exhale and turn to Tweek. He smiles, and I smile back. “I’m glad you invited me, I had fun…”

“Good, everyone likes you man, you’re part of the group. Just assume that you’re always invited to everything we do from now on.” We continued walking, heading down Token’s driveway and out the gate to be on the path towards our houses.

“Oh man, I don’t know if I could hang out with them _alone_ though. It seems like a lot of pressure…” Tweek trails off, and I squeeze his hand reassuringly. It had taken a lot to get Tweek to feel comfortable hanging with the rest of the guys. It seemed that he had a really hard time trusting that people liked him. I had only recently been able to convince him to start sitting with us all at lunch after all.

“Nah, they like you. I mean, I don’t think that I won’t come to whatever you’re going to, but I mean, don’t worry about them. They want to be your friends too. Really.” I honestly just wanted Tweek to get more comfortable with everyone. I knew he never really had many close friends, given how many people would call him weird or a spaz, so I wanted him to feel safe with all of us. Like he belonged.

“Thank you, Craig…” Tweek squeezes my hand back now, and we continue walking, not saying anything else for a few moments until he opens his mouth once more. “I know you said that we could all hang out this weekend but…” He hesitates like he was regretting even starting his sentence.

“But what babe?” I press, curious.

He takes a deep breath, “But... what if we did something this weekend? Just… Just us?” That was surprising. That was the first time he’d actually initiated, well, anything. Normally it was me who took his hand first, it was me who started using pet names, and it was always me who brought up going places and decided where to go.

“You’re asking me out on a date?” I questioned, but I was genuinely happy. This meant he was getting more comfortable

Tweek hesitates, flustered, but he seems to work up to courage to respond. “Y-Yes, yes I am.” He looks up at me confidently.

“Well, sure, what do you want to do?” I ask

“Dinner,” Tweek responds quickly, and the assurance in his answer surprises me.

“Dinner? Really? You want to get dinner? Fancy.”

“Oh, well, ngh, maybe not… like at a restaurant… That’s a lot…” Tweek shakes his head.

“At one of our houses?” I suggest, but he shakes his head again.

“No I… I’ll surprise you.” He concludes with another smile. I liked this, I liked this a lot.

“Oh really? I’m excited. Just let me know when and I’ll be ready. I’m leaving the rest up to you.” I say, and Tweek doesn’t respond by saying how much pressure that would be or anything. He doesn’t say anything actually, he just looked excited too. Knowing that planning a date for us wasn’t stressful or negative for him felt amazing. It means this is good for him. I’m good for him. Even if it’s not much, whenever I’m able to calm Tweek down or even keep him from panicking or twitching, I can’t help but feel like I’m doing something right. It’s really important for Tweek too. It’s important that he finally has someone to listen to him without brushing him off as “just a spaz.” He doesn’t even have his parents after all, but I’m glad that the job was left up to me. Right now, being there for Tweek is my favorite thing to do after all.

We eventually reach Tweek’s house first, and I look to him. I know he doesn’t have to go, but I can’t bring him home, and I don’t want him walking back alone to his house if he doesn’t have to. We’re still holding hands, lingering there in his driveway. Neither one of us wants to be the one to let go first. It sounds cheesy, but I wish I could spend every second with Tweek. Eventually, he’s the one who steps away, our hands coming apart. “You should get home. I don’t want to get you in trouble.” I drop my hands back to my side at that, knowing he was right. This seemed like the time that I’m supposed to kiss him goodbye or something, but I don’t think either of us are ready for that yet. Gotta save the first kiss for some time actually romantic. Instead, I smile.

“Alright, I’ll see you this weekend then.” I wave goodbye to Tweek as I turn around to head home. He waves back, calling out a response.

“I’ll text you!” With that, we both turn our backs on each other as we both head towards our respective houses. I smiled as I thought about him the whole walk to my house. Sometimes I felt really stupid. Like a giddy, lovesick schoolgirl. I don’t know how Tweek was about to break down my stoic, uncaring, irritated personality so easily. When I was with him, all I wanted to do was smile and care and all that dumb lovey dovey shit. But I guess that's just because what Tweek did to me. It’s what I wanted to do for him. I didn’t want to be a dick to him, I wanted to be anything but. I force my stupid grin to relax when I reach my front door though, opening it up to find my family sitting down for dinner.

“You said you’d be home an hour ago.” My dad speaks up first as I kick off my shoes and head over to my seat at the dinner table.

“I had to walk Tweek home first,” I state plainly as I sat down, glancing around to see what was for dinner. As I confess what had taken me so long, my parents, my dad especially, visibly relax. My dad was originally the number one opposition to me being gay and my relationship with Tweek, but a sudden change of heart made him our number one proponent. I think he probably owned the most “yaoi” art in the town now, and he was probably the only person who still cared about it. I didn’t really mind though, even as weird as it was. It was better than him hating me, and I could use my relationship to get out of trouble. For example, as I was doing right now.

“Oh,” Dad starts, “I’m glad you’re being a responsible boyfriend, making sure he gets home safe.” Hearing him say that made me feel pretty good. It was nice to know that my dad was pleased with me. I glance up at Tricia, she seemed happy too. Hell, my relationship with Tweek ended up not just being good for me, but it seemed to have improved our entire family. We went from the family who flipped each other off over dinner, to the family who spent dinner fawning over their gay son.

“You think you’re going to get married?” Tricia speaks up like I expected her to, and the question gets my cheeks tinged red and my eyebrows furrowed. We were siblings, of course we pushed each other's buttons, but I was not a fan of her being able to get me flustered like this. Craig Tucker wasn’t supposed to get flustered.

“We’re not getting fucking _married,_ we’re only in fourth grade.” I huff, starting to dig into my dinner, hoping the food could distract me from my embarrassment. The thought of marrying Tweek lingered in my mind though. Tweek would make a cute housewife… I imagined coming home from work with a stereotypical, “honey I’m home,” to see Tweek step out of the kitchen into my view wearing a cute, green apron and greeting me with a “welcome home dear.” Sure, if that happened, it would be at least twice how long I’ve already lived from now, and that would mean Tweek and I would have to stay together for that long. I certainly couldn’t see us really breaking up. Sure, we had our fights, but even during our last “break up,” I couldn’t stop thinking about him. All I wanted was for him to apologize, so we could get back together again, but I had just been stubborn. After all, even if we fight or get frustrated with each other, at the end of the day, all I want is for us to be together. But seriously, I was too young to be worried about marriage.

“You don’t have to get married today!” Tricia fights in between bites of her food. “But I want to be an aunt someday.” Oh god. I didn’t want to explain to her that she wasn’t going to be able to be an aunt that easily, but I wasn’t about to tell my little sister how babies were made. Instead of responding to her, I just stay silent, rolling my eyes, and focus on my food again. Tricia seems content with just knowing that I knew she wanted to be an aunt, and my parents seemed pretty amused by our conversation. They probably wanted me to get married and have a kid with Tweek too. Dammit. Speaking of Tweek, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, that was probably him. I knew I wasn’t supposed to be on my phone at the dinner table, so I eat quickly in order to finish up as soon as possible. As soon as I was done, I stand up to take my now empty dishes to the kitchen.

“Thanks for the food. I’m going to my room.” I say quickly, and my family doesn’t really question it, probably guessing that I was going to talk to Tweek. We usually talked to each other on the phone or texted before bed after all. I drop the dishes off in the sink before heading back out to the living room and up the stairs. After entering my room and closing my door behind me, I flop down on my bed and pull out my phone. As expected, there was a message from Tweek.

_Will u be free tomorrow? I dont want to wait until sunday._

I smile at his eagerness, it was adorable, but I felt the same too. I message back a simple, _yeah_. Tweek knew I usually kept my messages short, so hopefully, he didn’t take it as a lack of enthusiasm. I was really excited.

He soon replies, _Great!_ And then another soon after, _Whats ur favorite food?_ I have to think about that for a moment. What was my favorite food?

 _No idea,_ I end up responding, not sure what else to say when I didn’t think I even had a favorite food.

 _How can you not know ur favorite food? There has to be some food you like more than others!_ After reading his response, I have to think again, but eventually, come up with something.

_I guess I like cheese? Is that good enough for you?_

_I can work with that!_ Tweek responds enthusiastically. I always loved to text him because he always sounded confident. He didn’t have to worry about anyone watching him twitch. He was just able to get out the thoughts he wanted to with ease, despite the occasional spelling error. Autocorrect tended to be his best friend, although sometimes it ended up misconstruing his words terribly and I’d get a glimpse of Tweek’s flustered-ness even through text.

 _So should I expect a wheel of cheese for dinner?_ I tease Tweek a little, hoping to get a little of that “Tweekiness” that I enjoyed.

 _No! Of course not! I want to make this a good dare!_ He then sends another text a moment later correcting himself, _date*_

 _I know honey, I’m just messing with you, I’m sorry._ I smile to myself, the stuff that made Tweek, well, Tweek, was the best stuff.

_Dammit Craig! U just wait!_

_I can’t wait._ And I really can’t wait. I was so giddy about tomorrow now that I wasn’t even sure if I’d be able to fall asleep. I wanted to know what Tweek was coming up with, and I wanted it to be evening already, so I could spend it doing whatever that plan was.

 _I can’t wait either,_ Tweek responds. _Im going to try to get to sleep so i can wake up early to start prepping!_ Aw man, I didn’t want him to go, but I knew it was really hard for him to get to sleep, so I didn’t want to prevent him from trying. Any sleep that the little insomniac could get was important after all.

_Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow then. Goodnight <3 _

_Night! <3 _

I smile to myself at the little heart. Even if I was the one who sent the heart first, his was just so much cuter coming from him. I could just imagine him making a heart with his fingers and smiling at me fondly. I sigh wistfully, sending a quick message to Token letting him know that Saturday was no longer free before placing my phone on my nightstand and plugging it into the charging cord.

Getting up, I decided to get ready for bed as well. I change into my pajamas and brush my teeth before climbing back into bed, shutting my eyes as I let my mind wander off, finding myself unable to help but think of our future again. Us as a married couple. I imagined waking up before Tweek, sneaking out of bed to surprise him with a freshly brewed cup of coffee. I imagined staying up late in bed together, gently running my hands through his hair to help him get to sleep as we cuddle close. These thoughts heat up my face, and I turn over in bed, covering my face with a groan. Even if no one was here to see me, I still felt so embarrassed. I never smiled this stupidly, this often. Being this happy was a good thing right? It just felt so weird since it felt like I had spent my whole life a frown enjoying boredom and being an asshole. I guess Tweek was just the one interesting thing that happened to me that I finally enjoy. With that stupid smile on my face, I ended up falling asleep.

* * *

 

When my eyes snap open, I turn to face my bedside table, grabbing my phone with twitching hands to check the time. Six A.M., it was early, but I had slept a few hours longer than I got on average, so that was good. Despite knowing Craig wouldn’t be awake for a few more hours, I send him a good morning text for him to wake up to. With that, I get up, heading downstairs in order to get my much-needed morning coffee and something to eat.

I head downstairs to an empty house, as expected. My parents both worked full time at the coffee shop, and they were usually gone by at least five in the morning. I didn’t mind that though, I didn’t want them getting in my hair while I prepared for the date tonight. I already had enough on my mind after all.

I get my coffee brewing, getting some cereal and milk in order to pour myself a bowl. As usual, I end up making a mess of the milk during the pouring process, so I grumble to myself as I have to clean up the aftermath. Once that was taken care of, I take my bowl with me to the counter to eat as I wait for my coffee. I can barely function without it after all, so this was a priority before I started on anything else for tonight. As I eat, watching the drink fill up my mug, I try to keep my worries about the date in the back of my mind. However, that wasn’t something I was any good at doing. What if he didn’t like what I had planned? What if he didn’t like the food? What if he didn’t like the location? Oh, Jesus.

Twitching, I finally am able to take my mug of coffee from the machine, taking a good, long drink. Much better. Cup in hand, I put my now empty cereal bowl in the sink, and head back upstairs. I needed to decide what I wanted to wear. I couldn’t be too casual, then Craig would think I didn’t care or that I wasn’t taking it seriously! But at the same time, if I was too fancy, it would probably put a lot of pressure on him to look super extravagant too!

I eventually decide on something to wear, going for a button up, a nicer one than I usually wear. I set my coffee down to change shirts, having to take time and focus on buttoning it up. I don’t know why I favored button up shirts so much when buttoning anything up was something I greatly struggled with given how twitchy I was. Without fail, I always buttoned them up wrong and eventually I just stopped trying to get it right. After all, everyone else just grew used to my shirts being incorrectly buttoned. However, this time it was different. I wanted to look good. So, I sit down, take a deep breath, and try to focus on doing it right.

It took me a lot longer than it should have just to button up a shirt correctly, however, I did it, and I managed to pull on some khakis too. Those were much easier to put on though. I turn to look at myself in the mirror, smiling for a moment at the success with the buttons of my shirt, but that soon shifts into a frown when I notice the state of myself above the collar. My hair was a mess and there were dark bags under my eyes. I groan, twitching, as I turn away from my reflection. I didn’t need to dwell on how much I hated my appearance. Right now I wanted to work on getting the food together.

Maybe it was cheesy, but I wanted to take Craig on a picnic at Stark’s Pond. It was a pretty good idea though It meant we didn’t have to deal with the pressure of a restaurant or family members bothering us at either one of our houses. Not to mention that Stark’s Pond had become a special place for us. We visited there often, just the two of us. It was our number one hang out spot. And our tree was there too. I smile to myself, picturing the tree that we carved our initials into, the heart around the two letters. Permanent. The grin stayed plastered on my face as I walk back down to my kitchen. I needed to see what food we had in the house in case I needed to get some more. After all, I didn’t want our picnic to just be coffee. It had to be perfect.

Just I started a grocery list, my phone vibrates from its place in my pocket. Knowing who it must be, I smile again, pulling it out.

 _Good morning babe. I’m excited for tonight._ After reading his text, I don’t hesitate to respond.

_Me too! Im going to make this our best date yet._

_Really? You think you can top sitting in my room playing with Stripe?_

_As much as I love Stripe... pooping on the floor between us isnt really romantic._

_I think he heard you. He looks offended._

_He can get over it! Im serious about this date!_

_Alright honey. I won’t let Stripe’s poop ruin our date._

_... I still want to see him before we go though…_

_In that case, we’ll see him before we go._

_Alright, good. I’ll text u later though, I have a lot of stuff to do!_

_Okay, let me know when date time is too. <3 _

I respond with another heart before putting my phone away and turning to the grocery list I had scribbled out in between messages to Craig. And scribbled was not an exaggeration. My handwriting was awful, so it was a good thing no one was going to have to attempt to read this but me. Next, it was off to the coffee shop. I needed to ask for my money after all. My “allowance” was always for the work I did at the coffee shop, and I figured I could probably get it a day early if I went to ask. My parents might even throw in some extra money if I told them I was buying food. Especially if I told them if I was buying food to make dinner for Craig. I know I probably should be glad that they’re supportive of my relationship with Craig, but I guess their enthusiasm for anything has always seemed so disingenuous to me. Well, at least they didn’t hate him… or me. Anyway, with the list in hand, I head out.

* * *

 

Was this what Tweek felt like? Being anxious all day? I doubted that being nervous for a date could even compare to his chronic anxiety, but I couldn’t stop thinking about this date since I woke up. This was different from our other “dates.” It wasn’t just hanging out on a bench somewhere or in either of our rooms or going to see a movie. This felt like a real, planned, date. And Tweek was planning it. That fact alone was making me incredibly excited. Not to mention that I had no idea what kind of date it was even going to be. Where was it going to be? What were we going to eat? I had no idea. But I liked it.

Tweek hadn’t gotten back to me since this morning, assumedly because he had been busy doing whatever he needed to do, and I decided not to bother him. However, not talking to him was making me even more anxious. I kept checking the clock, hoping the time would advance faster, although it was barely even three. God, why couldn’t dinner come sooner? I had been laying on my floor with Stripe on my chest for what seemed like hours just trying to pass the time. Sighing, I put my phone to the side after checking the time before returning my attention to my guinea pig. He was up near my shoulder, trying to nibble on my hat. I roll my eyes, picking him up and placing him back down in the middle of my chest. Silly little guy. Despite trying to use Stripe as a distraction, his existence was just another thing that reminded me of Tweek. He was a present from him after all. He was sort of like our kid. Man. First I’m thinking about us getting married, now with a kid. Dammit, I’m only ten, I’m too young to be thinking about shit like that.

My Tweek-centric thoughts were soon broken by Tweek himself when I heard my phone buzz. _Finally._ I was careful not to disturb Stripe as I reach out to grab it and see what the message was.

_Are you free now? I know its not dinner time yet but im all ready and i wanna see u._

Reading that made a grin of excitement return to my lips, and I hurriedly respond.

 _Oh hell yeah. Come over. Stripe is out of his cage so you can say hi first._ I send the message and it isn’t long until Tweek sends back his response.

_Ok! We can kill time until dinner anyway! Ill b over soon!_

_Text me when you get here <3 _

I set my phone down again and look to Stripe with that dumb smile on my face. “Daddy’s coming over,” I say, petting his little head with a finger. God, that was stupid. I felt like everything I said and thought about was getting stupider and stupider lately. But if it was a side effect of being this happy, it was worth it.

It wasn’t long before I heard my doorbell ring, and after setting Stripe back down in his little pen, I don’t hesitate to head downstairs and answer the door. Tweek was standing at my front steps as expected, but I wasn’t expecting everything else. He had dressed up. Dammit, I should have thought to do the same, but regardless, he looked really nice. The first thing my eyes were drawn to was his shirt, however, and I couldn’t help but stare. Tweek obviously notices this, speaking up, “Craig? Why are you looking at me like that? Oh Jesus! Is something wrong?!”

“Oh shit, sorry, I just, your shirt,” I respond as I snap out of it and return my gaze to his face. He looks down however at what I had pointed out.

“My shirt? Oh no, does it not look good on me? Gah! I knew I should have stuck to my usual shirt!”

Sensing him about to panic, I speak up, “No! That’s not what I meant, it looks really good honey. I just don’t think I’ve ever seen you with your shirt buttoned right.”

“Oh.” He responds, blinking at his own shirt for a moment before I noticed his face turn pink and look back up at me. “Well, I mean, I wanted to look good… for you…”

I roll my eyes at that, “You always look good for me, you don’t have to change anything.” With that, I gestured him inside. “Come on, Stripe is waiting for his Dad.”

Tweek steps inside, looking at me quizzically, “Dad?”

“Well, yeah, I was sort of thinking that we’re kind of like Stripe’s dads,” I shrug, leading Tweek upstairs to my room.

“... Hmm, yeah, I guess we are.” I hear Tweek muse from behind me, and I look over his shoulder to see his smile. I smile back. We both smiled a lot more since we had gotten together, something I was really glad about. We could both make each other happy.

In my room, Stripe squeaks, recognizing Tweek when he came in. We both move to sit down and Tweek scoops up the guinea pig into his hands, keeping him secure despite his occasional twitching. As I watch the two of them, I finally decide to mention what Tweek had with him when he arrived and had now set down on the floor next to him.

“A picnic basket?” I ask, gesturing to it. “Are we going to have a picnic?”

Tweek looks at me, biting his lip, “Is that okay?”

I smile again to reassure him, “Hell yeah, a picnic sounds awesome.” I should have figured something like this would be Tweek’s choice of a dinner date. We could go wherever and be by ourselves without the pressure being around others or having to be somewhere fancy or something. I wouldn’t want Tweek to be stressed on one of our dates after all. Tweek relaxes again, gently petting Stripe in his lap. “Can I ask what we’re going to be eating?”

“It’s a surprise.” He smirks, glancing at me for a moment. I always loved it when he acted confident. I always knew he had it in him after all.

We hang out together with Stripe for a good while until I notice Tweek anxiously checking his phone for the time. “We can head out now if you want, even if it’s kind of early,” I suggest, knowing that he probably wanted to get this date officially started, as that was what I wanted too. Tweek perks up at my suggestion, and I can guess that he definitely felt how I suspected he did.

“Alright! Let’s go then!” He stands up suddenly, moving to put Stripe back into his cage. I peek out of my room, spotting Tricia in the hallway.

“Hey, let mom and dad know I’m heading out and won’t be back for dinner.” She scowls in response.

“Why can’t you tell them yourself?”

“Because I’m leaving now,” With that, she flips me off, and I return the rude gesture. Tweek appears by my side then and knowingly, Tricia giggles.

“Fine, I’ll tell them.” She smirks and winks as I roll my eyes. Taking Tweek’s hand, I pull him along.

“Come on babe, let’s go.” He nods, glancing back at my sister to nod goodbye to her, and then come with downstairs and then out the door. “Where are we going?” I ask, and Tweek just starts pulling me along down the sidewalk.

“That’s part of the surprise too. You’ll see when we get there.”

“Well, now I’m even more excited.” We walk hand in hand for a bit until I noticed we had arrived at Stark’s pond, now I knew exactly where we were going. As we approach our tree, I look to Tweek, he grins up to me, his face pink again. Letting go of Tweek’s hand, I run my fingers over the carved letters, and I’m taken back to the first time we came here together; when we whispered to each other everything that we wanted to say to each other before carving our shared feelings permanently into the bark.

Together, we pull the blanket out of Tweek’s basket to lay it out on the grass by our tree. Sitting down, he takes a thermos out of the basket first, obviously with his coffee, and he takes a sip. His hands shaking as he holds his thermos. Was it just me, or did he seem even more nervous now?

“We can eat if you’re hungry,” I suggest, even though it was still a little early. I thought maybe if we just dug into it, it might ease Tweek’s nerves a little.

“Oh, I’m not hungry I just…” Tweek pauses, fiddling with his hands. When I notice him picking at his skin, I gently reach out and slip the offending hand into mine. A way to keep him from hurting himself without drawing too much attention to his bad habit. He relaxes a little when I take his hand, which I was glad for. If Tweek could utilize me in any way to make himself feel better, I was happy. “I guess this just feels like a real date opposed to just hanging out… and I’m kinda nervous.”

“Well, I’m kinda nervous too. You’re all dolled up and you did all this for me… I don’t want to mess anything up,” I shrug, hoping Tweek wouldn’t be so nervous if he knew I was too.

“You can’t mess anything up!” He speaks up rather suddenly, “All you have to do is sit there… this is all my idea so if anything goes wrong-...”

“Nothing is going to go wrong,” I interrupt him, shaking my head. “I’m alone with my favorite person at my favorite place. No matter what happens, this is already our best date yet. You did such a good job and I don’t even know what food you brought.”

“... Thanks, Craig,” He smiles and takes a deep breath, calming down. We sit there, holding hands for a moment and just enjoying each other’s presence until Tweek pulls his hands away. “Well, even if you’re not hungry yet, I do want to show you what I made.”

“Made? You made all the food too?” I ask, not expecting him to have handmade all our food too. Although, that did explain why he was so worried. He probably thought I might hate his cooking or something.

“Yeah, I did. Making cupcakes was actually really fun, so I started making more stuff at home…” Tweek starts as he opens the picnic basket to unpack and reveal what he had made. Two quesadillas wrapped messily in plastic wrap, a plastic baggie of grapes, and some chocolate chip cookies.

“Quesadillas _and_ cookies?” I grin, and Tweek smiles back excitedly. “I’m ready to try it all, although, I don’t think you made the grapes by hand.”

“Whether I made them or not, the grapes are an important part,” Tweek states and I raise an eyebrow.

“Why?” I ask, and he responds by demonstrating, picking a grape off the stem and pressing it to my lips. I blink but then gladly part them to like Tweek pop the berry into my mouth.

“They’re a good food to romantically feed each other,” He giggles and I laugh along with him, plucking off my own grape to shove into his mouth. He manages to swallow it through his chuckling, licking his lips afterward.

“You’re right. They are.” I wrap an arm around Tweek to pull him closer, eliciting a little “eep” from him, but he doesn’t complain, probably preferring the closeness like I did, especially since I think we broke through our awkward barrier. We then decide to dig in, and I unwrap my quesadilla first. Before touching his, Tweek watches me, obviously wanting to gauge my reaction to the first bite. The quesadilla isn’t the prettiest, but it looks cheesy and delicious, and my prediction delivers on itself when I chomp down. “Mmm… this is really good. You’re really good at cooking and shit. I’m glad my cupcake suggestion led to the discovery of a new talent of yours.”

“New talent? You mean my first talent. I’m not good at anything but drinking coffee.”

“Not true,” I frown, shaking my head, “You have a lot of talents. Like, you’re really good at acting! Remember the staged break up? Also, you can play piano, sing, _and_ I heard you’re good at origami—“

“I’ve folded fifteen newspaper hats once, that’s not a talent—“

“Shhh, not done. You’re also really good at being the best boyfriend ever and making me the happiest dude in the world. I think that’s probably your best talent.” I smirk, and Tweek looks as flustered as ever, biting into his own quesadilla as if trying to make an excuse to not say anything in response. I decide to continue eating too, relishing in my boyfriend’s embarrassed state.

After finishing the quesadillas, we feed each other a few more grapes before I finally reach for a cookie. It was what I was looking forward to the most. What kid didn’t like dessert after all? Especially desert made by your talented boyfriend. Once again, Tweek watched me for approval, and so soon as I tasted my first bite, and gave him a thumbs up. It was really good. He really was good at cooking, especially baking. “This is so good, I hope you keep at cooking.”

Tweek smiles at my approval, “I will,” and eats his own cookie as well. The entirety of Tweek’s picnic seemed to disappear as quickly as it appeared. I was at the last bite of my cookie when I felt a sudden drop of wet on my hand. I blink, glancing at Tweek for a moment, then back at my cookie, and felt another drop. Then another. Then ten more. Then a hundred! Oh no, it was raining. As soon as Tweek realizes, he jumps up, “Gnaaahahahah! Oh Jesus! It’s raining! Everything is going to get ruined!” Jumping up with him, I immediately try to gather up the blanket to put it back in the basket before it got wet and muddy.

“Hey! At least most of the food is in our stomach!” I call out to Tweek over the now pouring rain, being the only one who was trying to clean everything up as he was really busy freaking out. Getting everything somewhat safe from the rain in the basket, I drop it and turn back to Tweek.

“I should have checked the weather! Gah! I’m so stupid! I knew something was going to get ruined! Ahh! You’re all wet!” Tweek flips out, even more, when I turn back to him. Yes, I was wet, I was soaked and currently getting soaked, although Tweek was also just as soaked.

“Hey! Hey! We’re both wet!” I place my hands on his shaking shoulders, holding him firmly, but hopefully comfortingly. “And nothing is ruined! We’re wet, so what? Since we’re already wet, we can just stay out here and stay wet! Okay?” Despite all my reassurance, it didn’t seem to be helping much this time.

“No! No, I… I had plans I… I was going to make this date better! Our best! And now it’s ruined!” Tweek pulls at his hair and I frantically take his hands, not wanting him to do that of course. I was confused though. What possibly could the rain have messed up so badly? In my wondering, I found myself staring at Tweek. I probably shouldn’t be staring at him while he was in the middle of a panic attack, but I couldn’t help it. The heavy rain plastered the blonde’s messy hair down against his face. I never got to see his hair falling flat like this, it was long. I couldn’t help run my hands through the wet locks, and that shut Tweek up suddenly. His frantic rambling came to a halt, and he stayed silent. Still. It would seem as if we were both frozen in time for a second if it weren’t for the steady rainfall and the presence of our breathing. Abruptly, time went from paused into fast-forward, and Tweek’s hands shot forward, grabbing the ear flaps of my chullo and yanking my head forward. I stumble, expecting to crash on top of Tweek’s smaller body and crush him, but instead, his grip on my hat keeps me steady, and he positions himself in such a way to catch me perfectly. Although, I wasn’t expecting him to catch me the way he did, with his lips.

My eyes were wide, still staring at Tweek whose own eyes were shut tightly, his whole expression tense as his puckered lips pushed against mine with a fervor that I wasn’t expecting. He was kissing me. In spite of my surprise, I close my eyes, relaxing my body to try and let Tweek know that I accepted his move. However, it didn’t last long as he suddenly pulled away, pushing my head back as well to snap his hands up and cover his mouth. “OH JESUS! ACK! I’M SORRY!” He was so loud that I could hear him fine even behind the barrier of his hands. I frantically shake my head, trying to take his trembling hands in mine to unveil his mouth again. I let my actions speak for myself as I lean in and close the gap between us again.

This kiss was more gentle than the last. Tweek was still tense, but I felt his hands squeeze mine and I peeked an eye open to see that his were closed, this time not as tightly. When I pulled away, slow, I watched him stand there. Eyes closed. Catching his breath. Pearls of rainwater sliding down his skin at a rapid rate. When he opened his eyes again, he was calmer, staring back at me. He smiles, and I smile back. “You surprised me, I thought I was going to have to kiss you first.”

“Agh! Did you want to? Shit, I-” Tweek starts to panic again, and I shake my head once more and speak up to keep him from panicking again.

“I’m glad you did, it made for a more exciting kiss than I would’ve ever expected.”

“Is… Is that a good thing?”

“A really good thing.” I nod, smiling as I hold Tweek’s wet face in my hands. He grins and giggles at me, pulling me into a hug, We laugh, holding our faces close before he looks up into the rain, blinking out the water.

“I was thinking about it for so long. I kept seeing it on TV and I just… I wanted to kiss you so much, but I’ve never kissed anyone before and I didn’t think I could do it and you know, a first kiss is a lot of pressure! I was worried I’d mess it up or you wouldn’t want it and you’d get mad at me and run away and I don’t think I could handle messing up this dating at all that’s why I wanted it to be perfect…” He looks back at me, biting at his bottom lip. I let him ramble before responding, hoping he’d feel better after he let out everything that had been bothering him.

“I’m not going to run away. No matter what happens, even if you mess up, I’m here for you Tweek. I promise.” I place my hand on the wet bark, and his hand soon joined mine, our palms together in the middle of the heart.

“I promise too. You act all tough but I know you need me too!” Tweek smiles, noticing his confidence coming back.

“You got that right.”

As we lean our foreheads against each other, laughing, our bodies thoroughly soaked from the crying sky, I realized something. Tweek was my seed, and I had planted him in the wet dirt beneath my sneakers. Through the storm, even against the strongest winds and rains, I was going to make sure he grew. He was going to grow into a stronger tree than even ours. A tree that could withstand a million hearts carved into it.


	2. A Seedling Sprouts

It had seemed like fourth grade was going to last forever, so when fifth grade finally arrived, it almost seemed surreal. It always felt like I was going to be stuck in fourth grade for the rest of my life, but yet here I was, sitting in the classroom of the fifth graders that I never thought I would be. However, it didn’t really feel any different. Even though I was in a different room, I was still surrounded by the same class of kids that I had been with for the past few years of my elementary school career, but the familiarity wasn’t bad. It made the change that I worried about quite easy. So, despite the similarities, I think at least was a bit taller than I was when I started fourth grade, and frankly that was enough for me.

I had noticed other changes about the other kids in our class too. For example, Wendy cut her hair, it was chopped off at about her chin. It was a surprising change, but it did look good on her. The best thing to change however, happened to be our seating arrangements. We were able to pick where we sat this time, so I was able to sit next to my favorite people. Clyde sat at my left, Token sat in front of him, Jimmy in front of me, and then of course, Tweek sat at my right. I was ecstatic that I wasn’t going to have look across the room just to catch a glimpse of him. Now he was right here, all the time.

With my elbow placed firmly on my desk, I leaned my cheek on my fist, staring at Tweek. He was fiddling with his school supplies, twitching as he attempted to organize them somewhat. I could see him shaking in his seat, and I’m sure that starting a new school year was a lot of pressure for him. I reach over, holding my hand out in the space between our desks. When he notices, Tweek quickly reaches out to grab it. Just like we promised, I was going to be there for him. When he got anxious, I was here to keep him grounded, be the comfort that he needed. He smiles at me, and I smile back.

This year was going to be good.

The change from fourth to fifth grade didn’t make class anymore interesting. It was still the same boring shit that I didn’t care about. However, class was bearable this time, I held Tweek’s hand the whole time. Normally he spent most of the class freaking out, but I noticed that he was actually doing better, paying attention. I never bothered much to do well in school, but I was glad that I was able to help him do well. I was sure that he’d go on to do great things after all. Lunch came soon though, which I was what I had been waiting for.

    As my classmates began to file out of the room to get to the cafeteria, my group and I converge once we were out of our desks. “You’re going to keep sitting at our table this year, right Tweek?” Clyde speaks up first, and I was glad to see him so eager to talk to Tweek. Since we all started hanging out together, I noticed Clyde making the biggest effort to include Tweek in everything we did. Seeing my best friend and my boyfriend got along was a relief, as knowing Clyde, I was worried that he would get jealous of me spending less time with him in order to make time for Tweek. However, he ended up being so enthusiastic about our relationship, he had gotten in the habit of constantly demanding all the “deets” when it came to what was going on between us. Although I complained about how annoying his interest in our personal life was, it was nice to have him as a beacon of support. Not that Token and Jimmy weren’t just as supportive.

“Yeah!” Tweek speaks up, and I focus back on our conversation. “I like sitting with you guys!” Still, hand in hand, Tweek and I lead the guys out of the classroom and into the cafeteria, which still had the same loud and obnoxious “charm” as it did last year. We get our lunches, and heading back into the jungle of students, we pass by the table where Stan and the other boys were sitting. There were a few spaces open, but we collectively agreed beforehand not to sit with them again this year. There wouldn’t always be enough room for all of us including Tweek every day, and we didn’t need to say anything to know that none of us wanted to sit anywhere near Cartman when we didn’t have to.

Situated at what would be our new table,  almost everyone else chimes up in friendly conversation. I normally didn’t contribute all that much, I generally just enjoyed listening, but since I wasn’t busy enthusing about some new fps game that was coming out, I was able to notice Stan get up from his lunch table. Oh god he was coming over here. Was he going to ask us to sit with them again? What a pain. I must have looked pretty visibly irritated because I feel a tug on my sleeve. “Craig?” I glance over to Tweek, then back at Stan who was heading over. “Oh.” He responds in realization. I knew Tweek used to hang out with them when Kenny disappeared for a bit, but I hated that whole group. All they ever did was cause me trouble.

“What do you want?” I speak up as soon as he approaches, which grabs everyone else’s attention. Stan seems pretty troubled, especially by me pretty much calling him out.

“Nothing dude, I just wanted to ask you and Tweek something,” Stan huffs, combating my unfriendly attitude a little. I was about to comment how he just contradicted himself by saying he wanted nothing, and then saying he wanted to ask a question, but Tweek spoke up before I got the chance.

“What is it?” He asks, obviously much more amiable than I was.

“Uh…” Stan looks around the table before back to the two of us. “Can I ask you something? Alone?” I raise my eyebrows. That was certainly weird. What could Stan possibly want from us that he couldn’t say in front of the rest of everyone? I noticed Tweek got nervous at this, but he ends up agreeing to it.

“Okay, we can go to the hallway,” He hops off the bench, holding my hand to lead me out of the cafeteria, Stan right on our heels. I should have guessed Tweek probably wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to stand in the empty hallway for a little. He was never a fan of these crowded, noisy spaces. Once we were alone, Stan hesitates before simply blurting out his question.

“How did you know you were gay?” I blink rapidly at the random question, and glancing at Tweek, I could tell he was sharing my reaction. Without even really thinking, I respond with my own question.

“Are _you_ gay?”

“No!” He immediately retorts, defensively. “I’m not gay, I like Wendy!” As soon as he says her name, Stan’s expression grows more solemn and conflicted, as if he wasn’t confident that he believed the words he was saying. Tweek and I both looked at each other knowingly, however, I decided to play along, at least for now

“Well, I don’t think we’ll be of much help anyway. If you remember, I didn’t exactly get a chance to discover I was gay on my own. I was just forcefully shoved into a relationship with a dude and it turned out I actually wanted to date him unlike all the other girls who had been in my life,” I shrug, concluding my explanation, but then turn to Tweek to add, “Right?”

“Uh…” When he didn’t immediately agree with me, I stare at him, waiting for the words I expected to come. “I… well… I actually knew before… that I was…” Those weren’t those words. Tweek had already known he was gay before the “yaoi incident”?

“What? Really? But you told me you weren’t gay back then,” I ask.

“I lied… I didn’t want you to find out and get disgusted with me! Oh no, are you mad I lied? I’m sorry! I just-“

“Tweek, I’m not mad, I just had no idea. We can talk about this later though,” I turn back to Stan, who seemed to just have been enjoying the show.

“Oh right!” Tweek seemed to have totally forgotten Stan was even there. “How I realized? I guess I just… never had crushes on girls, and when I got a crush on a guy, it just clicked.” I could feel the jealousy tugging at my expression. Tweek had a crush on a guy before? Who was it?

“That’s it? You just had a crush on a guy?” Stan questions.

“That’s it. I mean, that’s all being gay really is after all.”

“Well, what if you knew you liked girls, but then… you also had a crush on a guy…?”

“Bi!” Tweek immediately speaks up. He knew a lot more about this than I thought. Despite being with Tweek for quite a few months now, he was the only connection I had to being gay. However, he seemed really in tune with this part of his identity. “It means you like guys and girls.” Stan nods, looking down as if he was thinking really hard about something. He still seemed confused, but maybe a little less lost than before.

“Thanks, guys,” Stan nods, starting to head back to the cafeteria, but I stop him.

“Who is it?”

“... Wendy,” He insists and walks through the cafeteria doors.

* * *

 

“Dammit!” Clyde shouts, throwing his controller down as he falls back in frustrated defeat.

“S-s-suck on that,” Jimmy teases, grinning with his success of the match.

“My turn,” Token gets up, taking the discarded controller from Clyde to take his place facing Jimmy in whatever game they were playing. I wasn’t really paying attention. Clyde scoots back over to sit by Craig and I, replacing Token, but I wasn’t really paying too much attention to them either. It was kind of hard to pay attention when I was so… calm. It was weird even thinking that, but right now, I was calm. I wasn’t worried about anything really. Craig’s lap made a good pillow, and combined with the hypnotic movements of his fingers running through my hair, I could almost fall asleep. Sleeping didn’t exactly come easy to me though, even now. Craig’s touch was soothing, but I wasn’t sure if it could cure caffeine-inducedced insomnia. Speaking of coffee…

Craig and Clyde had started talking, but I wasn’t listening, reaching for my coffee thermos without moving my head from its comfortable position. Successfully grabbing it, I bring it to my lips to let the coffee drip past my lips. Just a drip. Shit, that was my last drop. Luckily Token let me use his coffee machine whenever I was at his house, but that meant I’d have to get up. “Man,” I sigh aloud, sitting up.

“Babe?” Craig lifts his hands from my head when I get up. I missed them already. His touch was always there to hold me in reality, acting as a safety net.

“I need more coffee,” I stand up, and he follows suit. At least I could always count on my boyfriend to come with me wherever I went without question.

“I’ll come with you.’ With that, I nod, heading out of the room to go back downstairs to the kitchen. While I start to get my coffee brewing, Craig leans against the counter, staying quiet for a bit, just looking at me. However, when I look back to him, he speaks up. “Who was the guy you had a crush on?”

“W-What?!” I blurt out.

“The other day, when we were talking to Stan, you mentioned that you realized you were gay when you got a crush on a guy. Who was it?” Craig asks this without so much of a shift of his expression, but I could tell that it had been bothering him. Why else would he have taken so long to ask me about it?

“... You,” I answer, twitching nervously. Oh man. This wouldn’t upset him, would it?

“Me? You had a crush on me before? For how long?” Now I was noticing him reacting a little, his eyes wider and his body shifting more upright. “Since when?”

“Since third grade… when the boys made us fight, remember?”

“Of course I remember. Damn.” Craig lifts a hand, fidgeting with one of the tassels of his hat. “I guess I just assumed that you went through the same thing I did. I never really had a crush before you.” I could feel my face flare up red, and quickly reach for my thermos with my twitching hands to fill it up with coffee. The trembling failed me however, and in my attempt to pour my coffee, some spills over to splash on my hand. I shriek, and Craig jumps to action immediately, taking the coffee from me to prevent me from dropping it on the floor. He then promptly leads me to the kitchen sink to run my burned hand under cold water. “Are you okay?” He asks, and I can hear the worry in his voice.

“I’m fine, this happens a lot…” One should expect that with someone as shaky as me, pouring liquids normally didn’t go smoothly. I look at him, frowning, and my voice rises again, frantically. “D-Don’t worry about me! I’m okay!” He shifts his gaze from my hand, to my face, speaking softly.

“I can’t help but worry about you, I don’t want to ever see you in pain.” With that, he lifts my hand out of the water to kiss the burn.

“Oh shit, we heard screaming and thought someone died, turns out you’re just being gay,” Clyde’s voice rang out from the side of the room, and I jump up in embarrassment, shoving my hand back under the stream of water. I glance at Craig for a quick second, to see his face was almost as red as mine. While we had gotten much more comfortable being affectionate with each other since our first kiss, it was still embarrassing to kiss in front of other people, even if it was just on the hand. Amused by our bashfulness, the rest of the guys come and join us by the sink.

“Tweek split coffee on his hand,” Craig explains, his hand on my back now, returning his focus to my injury, and ignoring Clyde’s joke.

“Is it bad?” Token asks in concern, looking over to see how bad it was.

“No,” I shake my head, “It was just a little splash. I probably don’t even need to keep it under the water anymore.”

“Just a little longer…” Craig insists. I could tell he was worried… and I guess I couldn’t help but smile at this concern. It was nice to have someone who cared like he did. After a few more minutes though, I decided my hand was going to freeze if I kept it under the water for much longer, so I pull it out and dry it off to look at the burn. It really wasn’t that bad. Just as I was about to reach for the coffee to attempt to pour it again, Craig was already there, pouring it for me. “Here you go.” He states, handing my thermos out to me.

“Thanks,” I smile, taking a sip, and I’m filled with relief as the familiar bitter flavor tingled my taste buds. The coffee at Token’s house was good, but I always preferred the feeling of my family’s own Tweak’s blend down my throat. It was always able to calm my nerves in a way no other blend could.

“B-B-B-Back to the game then, you ga….ga….gaywads?” Jimmy grins, and Craig rolls his eyes, punching him playfully in the shoulder.

“Sure.”

* * *

 

At my locker, Tweek approaches me hurriedly as usual. Although, this time, he seems even more panicked than normal, and starts talking before he even stops walking. “Craig! I… I forgot to do my homework last night. Can I look at yours?” Of course. He could to be so forgetful sometimes. I probably should start reminding him to do his homework, just in case.

“Yeah, sure,” I nod, grabbing said homework so Tweek could quickly jot down the answers, not that I knew if they were right or anything. I wasn’t stupid, at least I didn’t think so, but honestly I could give less of a shit about school. It wasn’t like my grades in elementary school were going to have any impact on my future, right? I just needed to pass. I lean against the lockers next to Tweek, watching him scribble on his blank homework, his bad handwriting made worse by his nervous speed and the vertical orientation of the paper. All that really mattered was that he had something down for each of the questions though, as that was all our teacher really ever checked for.

As Tweek got to the last question, a familiar, high-pitched, southern accent rings out through the hallway. “Come quick!” We both turn to see Butters Stotch running down the hallway, yelling about some fight. “Stan and Kyle are going to kill each other!” Those assholes were at it again? I didn’t think I could help myself, I wanted to watch.

“Kill each other!?” Tweek squawks, echoing Butters’ call. That was enough to change my mind, if watching would upset Tweek, I wouldn’t go, but he ended up being the one to pull me along with all the other students after Butters to find the source of the fight. I wasn’t going to complain if he had a sick curiosity too. When we pushed through the other students to catch a glimpse of the action, what Butters was saying didn’t seem like so much of an exaggeration anymore.

“Oh god!” Tweek calls out again, and I take his hand securely in mine, keeping him from pulling at his hair with it, which I could sense he was about to do. Once I was holding onto him however, I couldn’t look away from the fight. Stan and Kyle were seriously going at it. They were throwing punches with the intent to cause damage. Between the punches, one of them would grab the other, attempting to knee them in the stomach or yank on their hair. Their hats were long gone, discarded, or probably thrown, haphazardly on opposite sides of the hallway. At this point, Kyle already had a bloody nose, and there was no doubt that Stan was coming out of this with at least a black eye. Speaking of Stan, with a forceful shove, he knocks Kyle back on his ass, getting on top of him to land a potent punch square in the face. Kyle yells out, kicking his legs to try to get free, and another voice rises between the commotion.

“Stan! Stop!” Then a crack so hard it was hard to believe it wasn’t on purpose. Wendy had run into the fight just as Stan has whipped his fist back to prepare another punch, but it had instead knocked her in the teeth. The crowd went silent. Stan and Kyle both went still. Wendy was on the ground, her hand over her mouth. The offender scrambled off of Kyle, rushing to Wendy’s side.

“Fuck, fuck, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean—“

“Can it Stan!” Wendy shouts, causing Stan to freeze in shock. She then looks down at her hand, a tooth sitting in her palm, red around it matching the blood dripping from her lips. She looks from her tooth, to her boyfriend, which I doubted he’d be for much longer, then loses it. “You know what? I’ve had enough of this!” Getting up, Wendy clenches her fist holding the tooth, the other hand pointing into the boy’s chest. “Lately, all you’ve been is a giant asshole! Kyle’s been here for me, supporting me, and you’ve been avoiding me! What’s your problem? Oh wait! I know! You’re afraid! Well, I’ll make this easy for you! We’re over! That way you don’t have to worry your little head over it! I’m sticking with Kyle, because he isn’t _afraid_ _of being_ _gay_!” I knew it.

With her rant over, Wendy moves to Kyle’s side, helping him up to his feet, and holding the sleeve of her jacket up to his bloody nose. “Let’s go to the nurse…” As they drag themselves to the nurse's office, Stan just stands there, looking distraught, before slowly forcing himself to walk away. At the same time, the crowds of onlookers began to disperse, confused and speculative murmurs replacing the stagnant air. I turn to Tweek, who looks at me, his eyes wide with a range of emotions. “I need my coffee.” He says simply, and I agree, I needed some coffee too.

 We got through class with three desks empty, to no surprise to anyone, and when lunch came around, the normally boisterously annoying table was plagued by an eerie aura of silence and dread. I tried not to let it get to me however as my group and I take our seats at our far superior table. Despite not trying to let the Stan incident get to me, I should have known it would be the new hot conversation topic.

“Dude! Did you guys see the fight?” Clyde asks, practically jumping in his seat as he directs his attention primarily at me, which made sense given his next remark, “Wendy called Stan gay too! What was that all about?”

“Gah!” Tweek twitches, not being good at hiding that we knew a little something about Stan not exactly being straight. Luckily, Token speaks up instead.

“She didn’t call him gay, she said he was afraid of being gay, but Kyle wasn’t. I still don’t get it though, if they’re fighting over Wendy or something, what does it have to do being gay?” That was confusing me too. If Stan had a crush on some dude, why would that make him fight Kyle? Why would Wendy have sided with Kyle? It didn’t make any sense. Sure, it would be a problem if Stan was hitting on some dude while he was still with Wendy, but given how insecure he seemed about it, I doubted he’d even attempt to do that. Then, there was the fact that Wendy seemed to be applauding Kyle for being more accepting of being gay than Stan was, so she clearly wasn’t mad at Stan just because he might be bi. God, this wasn’t even my problem, I didn’t want to think about it.

“D-D-Do you guys think Stan is gay?” Jimmy asks, looking towards Tweek and I. Of course.

“Aah! I don’t know!” Tweek shakes his head, squeezing the sandwich in his hand until the condiments began to drip out the sides.

“Just because we’re gay doesn’t mean we can automatically tell when someone else it,” I roll my eyes, biting into my own sandwich.

“Yeah! I don’t know anything!” Man, Tweek was such a bad liar. That fact was undoubtedly adorable though. Although, it was surprising given how good of an actor he was. Maybe he just needed time to prepare his lies.

“...You do know something.” Token presses, and I wasn’t surprised that he figured it out.

“Gah! No I don’t!” Tweek denies, biting into his food to keep his mouth occupied. So, to bust him out of the situation, I fess up.

“Stan talked to us. He wanted to know how we realized we were gay.” I explain bluntly, and the guys look back and forth between each other.

“I knew it…” I hear Jimmy whisper.

“So he is gay! Does he like Kyle? Is that why they were fighting?” Clyde asks, enthusiastically curious.

“No, I think he’s bi. I think they were fighting because Stan had a crush on Wendy and Kyle.” Token adds. That still didn’t add up completely, but I didn’t care enough to correct them. Also, how come Token knew what bi was too? I didn’t even know until Tweek told me.

“Bi?” Clyde questions, I should have expected him to not know.

“It means you like guys and girls,” I explain. I have to seem educated about my gayness after all. Tweek smiles at me at that. I guessed he liked the fact that I had retained the stuff that he had taught me. Maybe I should ask him later to tell me more about what he knew. I wanted to start being more educated about this stuff after all. “It’s none of our business though, so whatever. Hopefully they can work it out themselves.” I shrug, hopefully halting the conversation there. I didn’t want to spend all day talking about those dicks after all, and luckily, the guys had no problem going back to talking about sports or whatever.

* * *

 

Sometimes, just laying in bed and talking to Tweek on the phone was the best times of my day. I could always tell that he kept the phone on speaker, as I could always hear him fiddling with stuff in the background, probably working on one of his giant lego projects. That boy really churned out some cool stuff while putting his hyperactivity to use. “Did you know the girls invited me to hang out with them?” Tweek speaks up out of my phone.

“They did? I’m guessing they want a gay friend, and you’re a lot more approachable than I am. Are you going to?” I ask, hoping I could get Tweek to hang out with them. Regardless of their intentions, I wanted Tweek to start branching out and making more friends. I wanted him to be able to feel comfortable even without me there to hold his hand, metaphorically and literally. I still did like actually holding his hand though.

“I don’t know… what if they don’t actually want to be my friend? What if it’s all a set up to get me! Oh jesus, what if they kill me?!” Tweek screeches through the phone, and I could hear him aggressively slamming legos together.

“They’re not going to kill you. I know the girls, they like you. They want to be your friend.”

“You think so?” Tweek goes silent for a second, I can tell he’s thinking, “Okay… maybe I will say yes then…”

“Good!” I exhale, a smile curving on my lips, Tweek was branching out a little. “Oh! Also, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Ah! Is everything okay?” I can tell he’s tensing up in worry just from the sound of his voice, but I am quick to reassure him.

“Everything is fine! I was just wondering if you could like… teach me more about gay stuff. You seem to know a lot, and I think I should know more too.”

“Oh! Yeah! I’ve looked up a lot about it, so I could totally teach you!”

“Sweet,” My phone then buzzed with another incoming call, “Hold on someone else is calling me.” I pull my phone from my ear to look at the caller ID. Stan? What the hell? “It’s Stan.”

“What? Stan?”

"Yeah, I’ll see what he wants and then call you back.”

“Okay! Talk to you later! Bye!”

“Bye!” I hang up with Tweek to answer Stan’s call. “Stan? Hello?”

“Ugh. Fag.” Wow, that was quite the way to greet me.

“What’s your problem?” I hiss, rolling my eyes. I could tell Stan was in an even more dickish mood than usual.  

“It’s your fuckin’ fault. You had to go and be all gay, making everyone else queer like you.”

“What the fuck? It’s not my fault you’re gay.” My jaw tenses, brows furrowing, and I hear Stan grumble into the phone before lashing out again.

“It’s your fault that Wendy wants to be a guy!” Huh?

“Stan, what are you talking about?”

“Fight me.” He growls, “Outside.” Outside? I raise an eyebrow, and on a whim, I decide to look out my window. Sure enough, there he was. Stan stood in my front yard, holding a phone up to his ear with one hand, the other holding a bottle of whiskey.

“Are you drunk? Holy shit, okay, I’m coming outside.” I groan, hanging up my phone. I throw on my jacket and some shoes before heading downstairs and outside to meet Stan. As soon as I step into the grass, he stumbles towards me, swinging a weak and clumsy fist at me, which missed by a mile. He was undoubtedly drunk. I let him swing a few more times before he gave up, flopping down in the grass with his head in his hands. I sigh, casually taking the whiskey from him and placing on the other side of me to keep him from drinking more. “Talk to me. What’s going on with Wendy?” I ask.

“... Fine.” Stan looks up, his arms crossed over his knees. “Wendy told me that she’s… genderfluid or something…. She’s like a girl sometimes and a boy something or something…” That explained everything. “And I just… I like her… but I…. I’m not gay! I can’t be…”

“Why not?” I ask bluntly. “What’s wrong with being gay?” Stan seems a little taken aback by the question, hesitating.

“I… I don’t… nothing…. I just… _I’m not_.” Stan insists.

“How do you know you’re not?” I question further, hoping I could get Stan to figure this out for himself. However, now he seemed lost. He didn’t know how to answer, mostly because I knew he didn’t want to admit that he could easily like guys. “Wendy. You like Wendy right? What to you like about her?” I figured he’d be able to answer this better.

“Well, that’s easy. She’s pretty and kind, but also like… super fucking smart and political and shit… like she knows and cares about all this stuff that I don’t even get and… she’s so mature and knows what the fuck’s going on…” Stan clearly cared about her, it was sweet in all honesty.

“What changes about that when Wendy wants to be called “he”?” Stan’s expression twists in thought, but he does respond this time.

“Nothing…” He looks down again.

“Exactly. Nothing. Wendy is still Wendy, the Wendy you like. Whether she’s a girl, or he’s a guy.” I explain, leaning back on my hands as Stan was starting to get it.   
“So… I’m gay?” Stan looks back to me, his expression softening up.

“You’re at least bi. You like a girl and a guy. Do you like other guys? If you could kiss Wendy as a guy, could you kiss, I don’t know, Kyle?”

“K-Kyle?” Stan sits up suddenly at that, his face reddening at the idea of kissing him.

“You care about him. Even if you guys fight, I know you two care about each other more than anyone else.”

“Well, of course, I care about him. We’re super best friends.” Stan huffs.

“You love him?”

“Best friends… I… I love him like my best friend.”

“But that was before you realized that you could be attracted to a guy. So, do you think you could be attracted to him the same way you are to Wendy?”

“I don’t know… M… Maybe…” Stan’s face was red, his fists balled up on his thighs.

“Just think about it I guess.” I stand up, handing the whiskey bottle back to Stan. “Make up to them, okay? It’s weird having you three be apart.” Stan gets up as well, having to catch himself as he almost falls. He grips the bottle tightly, his other hand holding onto his hat.

“Yeah… I will…” He nods, starting to walk off in the direction of his house. Without looking back, he adds another word. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” With that, I head back inside, immediately pulling out my phone to call Tweek back. “You’re not going to believe what just happened.”

When the weekend was over, and we were all back to the hellish grind of the school week, things were noticeably back to normal. The classroom was full and Wendy was even joining the other boys at their lunch table. They were joking with each other, smiling, even holding hands. I don’t know what happened after I talked to Stan that night, but I guess he listened to what I told him.

As I should have expected, my table was abuzz with the latest Stan drama update, especially the ever so gossip hungry Clyde. “I have no idea what happened guys, but I think Wendy is dating Stan _and_ Kyle now. Wendy started going out with Kyle after the fight, and it looked like they were still together this morning, but I saw her holding Stan’s hand before lunch.”

“... I saw Kyle and Stan holding hands in front of the school…” Tweek adds, almost under his breath. I nearly spit out my milk, and he has the attention of everyone else seated around him.

“Holy shit he did it,” The words slip out of my mouth.

“Did what?” Token raises an eyebrow.

“Well, I told Stan to think about being gay for Kyle. And now they are. They’re all being pretty fucking gay for each other.”

“S-S-So all three of them are dating? Each o-other?” Jimmy asks, and I nod in response. A sudden scream from Tweek interrupts our conversation.

"Do you know what this means? We’re not the only gay couple at school anymore!”

“Isn’t it cool?” Clyde grins. “It’s like… you encouraged other people to come out!”

“AHH! No it’s not cool! Now people are going to compare us, and we’re going to have to compete to be the better couple and then people are going to pit us against each other and I’ll have to fight again!” The others looked away, shifting in place. They didn’t really know how to react to Tweek’s freak outs again, and I didn’t expect them to be comfortable handling them yet anyway. I don’t hesitate to take the lead with consoling him though, scooting closer to take one of Tweek’s hands that was pulling on his shirt.

“Who cares who is the better couple? It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks as long as we’re happy. We don’t have to listen to anyone else.”

“I guess so…” Tweek nods, taking a deep breath to calm down.

“If anyone tries to compare us, we’ll shut them down.” I nod, and Clyde surprisingly adds to my reassurance.

“Yeah! I won’t let anyone talk shit about you guys!” Grinning, he holds up his arm and flexes, and hand on his bicep like he was trying to show off his strength.

“You’re ten percent muscle and ninety percent tub. I don’t know if you’ll be the best option to protect us. Jimmy on the other hand always has canes on him, a potential weapon.”

“Hey! I’m not fat!” Clyde whines, and it elicits a laugh from everyone else at the table, including Tweek. Good. Seeing him happy opposed to panic was always a relief. I was so glad he was starting to make more  friends. Now I had to see if he could make his own friends too.

* * *

 

Oh man. This was a lot of pressure. It had been a long time since I had hung out with friends without Craig at my side. Hell, I didn’t even know if I could consider the girls my friends yet, but apparently they wanted to be! I still wasn’t sure if I could trust them, but Craig told me I could, and I knew I could trust him.

I had been standing outside Bebe’s door for far too long though, and I knew I needed to ring the doorbell before someone saw me loitering out here and called the cops. Oh no. I did not want that to happen, so I quickly reach up to ring that bell. Immediately, my anxieties get to me. What if Bebe doesn’t answer? What if one of her parents do? What should I say? What if they think I’m trying to creep on their daughter? Agh! As I take a frantic sip from my coffee thermos, the door opens, and Bebe stands in the doorway. Phew. “Tweek!” She smiles when she sees me, and ushers me inside her house. I try to gulp down my nerves as I step inside. “The other girls are up in my room, come on!” She says, leading me upstairs into her room.

 I’d never been in a girl’s room before, and I wasn’t sure what I was expecting. It was certainly cleaner than my room, but every room was cleaner than mine. It was very pink and purple, unicorns and pictures of Bebe with her friends decorated the walls, and said friends all sat around on her bed chatting. When the two of us make our presence known, the other girls look over, and Bebe guides me along to join the gathering. Other than Bebe of course, Heidi, Nichole, Red, and Wendy were here. Well, if Wendy was here, hopefully most of the attention would be on the new relationship she was a part of instead of me. Speaking of Wendy, she addresses me first. “Hey Tweek! We were just talking about you!”

“Talking about me?” Oh no. I twitch, “About what?”

“Wendy was telling us about how you and Craig helped her, Stan, and Kyle get together,” Heidi chimes in. I was glad that she broke up with Cartman, she was pleasant to be around again.

“Oh, I didn’t do anything… Craig was the one who talked to Stan….” I shake my head, not wanting to take credit for my boyfriend.

“That’s not true!” Wendy shakes her head, patting the open spot next to her on the bed. I hesitate, but then join her along with the other girls. “Stan and Kyle never even thought about the possibility that they could like each other that way before you two got together. Sure, Stan needed an extra push, but Kyle realized just from seeing you two!” I had no idea. Kyle realized he was gay because of us? I smile, sitting up a little straighter. Hell yeah. I was a gay role model. The girls seem to notice my pride, giggling at my reaction, and I immediately slink back, my face getting warm. Bebe places a hand on my back, and I look over. She smiles, and I smile back, relaxing some. I guess we all could be friends.

Hanging out with the girls turned out to actually be really fun. It was a lot different from hanging out with Craig and his friends, or any of the other boys really, although, I wasn’t sure how I felt about the _talking about boys_ part. Even while I wasn’t with them, they were certainly still on everyone’s minds. Wendy obviously talked a lot about Stan and Kyle, spilling all kinds of stuff about them I had no idea about before, and Nichole cooed about Token, but Heidi also complained about Cartman, and Bebe and Red had a ball lamenting about their exes, Clyde and Kevin. Each time a new boy came up, they always turned to me to see what I thought about them. It felt almost sacrilegious to show interest in anyone but Craig, but they continually wanted to know if I found anyone else cute. Token and Stan were really the only ones, but I made sure to assure Wendy and Nichole that I had no interest in trying to step in between their relationships. I was quite happy with my current arrangement at the moment, but that was no secret to anyone.

Other than talking about boys, we kind of just had fun. We ate ice cream, told stupid stories, and somehow I even let them talk me into letting them paint my nails. I had a habit of sometimes chewing them when I got nervous, so I hated how they looked, but once they were painted over blue, they looked pretty good. Not to mention that the paint would prevent me from biting them. I probably should actually do this more often. Well, I don’t think I could ever accurately paint my own nails given how much I twitched and shook, but maybe I could teach Craig to do it for me.

Right now we laid in a circle on the floor. I was waiting for my nails to dry while the other girls were busy painting their own. It kind of sucked not being able to really use my hands. I had to be really careful in just trying to take a sip of my coffee. Luckily, Red’s nails were still plain, so she was glad to assist in holding up the thermos so I could drink. They really were all so nice to me. Even if they just wanted to befriend me because I was gay, I guess I could trust them after all. “Hey Tweek?” Bebe speaks up in between painting Nichole’s right hand, and I look up, giving her my attention. “We were going to see a movie next week, want to come with us?” They were already inviting me to something else? I raise my eyebrows, but nod.

“Yeah!” Oh man, I was making plans without needing to rely on Craig and his friends. As much as I like those guys, it was nice to know that other people liked me too.

“Cool!” She grins and returns to Nichole, who has something to add as well.

“You know Tweek, you look really good with painted nails. Maybe we should do your makeup and hair too.” The suggestion evokes some thoughtful “oohs” and “aahs” from the others, and I’m immediately worried.

“His hair looks really soft, I wouldn’t mind getting my hands in there,” Red snickers, and the others nod in agreement. “And you know, I think some foundation to even out his skin tone would really work wonders.”

Foundation? Oh no. Did I even want to find out what that was? Whatever it was, it didn’t sound pleasant, and my stomach churned at the thought of being smothered in girly decoration. Oh wait. That wasn’t a metaphorical stomach churn, something was actually going on down there. I didn’t feel good; I felt sick. Shit. I try to silently force it down until I realize that this is only going one way and l I have to scramble to my feet as everyone stares. I manage out what words I can without spilling my lunch on Bebe’s carpet.

“Bathroom? Quick.”

* * *

 

Tweek was at Bebe’s house right now, and as happy as I was that he was hanging out with some new people without me, I couldn’t help but feel like I was missing out on some great Tweek content by not being there. Although, I set up today specifically so I wouldn’t have to worry about Tweek. I had stuff to do. Stripe’s cage needed a good cleaning, and I had enlisted Clyde to help me, primarily since this task was easier with two people, and I was sure Clyde would agree to helping me if it meant he got some much-needed one on one best friend time. The two of us hadn’t hung out alone for a while, and I’d heard enough whining from him to know.

I’d given him the walls of Stripe’s cage to scrub while I’ll handled the bottom, the dirtiest part. Stripe was having a ball in well, his ball, occasionally rolling into either me or Clyde. I’d also set up my phone to play one of my shitty 80s playlists, and with that on top of everything else, I had a lot to distract me from Tweek. Wait, shit. Don’t think about him. “When’s your next football game?” I ask, and I really couldn't care less about sports, but I did like to go and cheer Clyde and Token on from time to time.

“Friday!” He responds enthusiastically, “Are you going to come?” Obviously, he wanted me to come.

“Yeah, probably,” I nod, scrubbing at the last chunk of gross shit at the bottom of Stripe’s cage before I set it back down, starting to connect it back with the now clean walls. “Can you grab the bag of bedding?”

“Oh!” Clyde nods, handing me the last wall he cleaned before reaching over to grab said bag and hand it to me. I take it, pouring the bedding in to fill up a nice layer for Stripe before starting to place all his toys and such back in. I fill up his food and water again, and once everything was good as new, I pick Stripe up and place him back in his home. Perfect.

“Wanna give him a treat?” I hold out a bag of Stripe’s treats to Clyde.

“Hell yeah!” He reaches in, taking one and holding it out to Stripe. The guinea pig approaches, sniffing Clyde’s hand, but then eagerly gobbles it down. “Oh man he’s so cute.”

“You know it,” I reach a hand in as Clyde pulls his out, petting Stripes head with a finger before I close the cage door to give the little guy some privacy. God, I loved him. I hated to be biased towards my guinea pigs, but so far, Stripe #4 was the best Stripe so far.

“I know Stripe has his pirate costume, but I think he’d look cool in other costumes too.” I raise an eyebrow at Clyde’s suggestion, looking over at him. He was laying on his stomach, resting his head in his palms as he looks into the guinea pig’s cage.

“Like what?” I get down, laying on my carpet next to him.

“Hmm… Maybe a vampire? Like give him a little cape? He’s already got those teeth, they could pass as rodent vampire fangs.”

“Maybe that could be his Halloween costume.” Clyde was right, I needed to dress him up more, give him outfits for every holiday even. “Speaking of Halloween, we’re going to do a horror movie marathon this year again right?”

“Duh, of course. Is Tweek gonna come this time?” Dammit. Of course, he had to bring up the forbidden name.

“Fuck you, I told you not to talk about him… But yes he’ll come.”

“Shit! I forgot! But what’s so bad about thinking about him anyway?” Clyde always had to pry, didn’t he?

“Well obviously nothing, I just don’t want to worry about him when I don’t have to. Because he’s fine. I just always worry that I won’t be there when he needs me.”

“Tweek can take care of himself. He kicked your ass once after all.”

“Oh shut up… I went easy on him,” I flip Clyde off, and he laughs, always getting amused when I got annoyed. Although, that was part of his charm that I couldn’t help but find endearing.

“Do you think anyone else is gay?” I pause, looking at Clyde as he suddenly changes the subject. “Just, you know, before it was only you and Tweek, but no one would have ever expected Stan, Kyle, and Wendy, yet here we are. I was just wondering if anyone else is like secretly gay.”

“How am I supposed to know? Being gay doesn’t give me magic gay insight.” I sigh, rolling my eyes. I felt like I constantly had to remind people about that nowadays.

“I know that! Just what if like… Token was gay too? Right under our noses and we had no idea…”

“Token likes Nichole. I doubt he’s anything but straight.” I shrug, Token seemed pretty solid in his attraction to girls.

“Well, he could be bi!”

“I guess so, but even so, I don’t see him leaving Nichole for a guy anytime soon.”

“Yeah… you’re probably right,” Clyde sounds defeated at that, flopping his head down to lay on the ground. Weird. Did he really want Token to be gay? I wanted to question Clyde further about this, but suddenly I feel my phone blowing up, the vibrations traveling through the floor to my body laying on it. I reach out, pausing the music to read the flood of text messages that had come in, all from Tweek. There were so many typos, it was almost hard to read, and it was clear he was panicking while typing them, so I immediately was panicking too.

 

_Craig igor sick at bebes house_

_i need u to come pic me ip_

_My parents ark still ar work_

_Oh no whar if its serious craig_

_Whag if its cancer_

_AHHHHHHHHHHHHH_

_I DONT WANNA DIE_

 

In between the messages I was getting, my phone rings with a call from Bebe, and I quickly answer. Before I ever hear her speak, I can hear Tweek’s familiar screams in the background accompanied by concerned girlish voices. “Craig?”

“Tweek got sick? Is he okay?” I don’t hesitate to ask what’s on my mind, not waiting for Bebe to say whatever she had to.

“I think he’s okay, but he puked, so obviously not great, and he wants to go home.”

“Alright. Yeah. He texted me, my dad is home, so he can drive me over to get him.”

“Thanks… I’m sorry, I would take him home but my mom isn’t going to be home for another hour.”

 _“_ It’s fine. I’ll be over soon. Bye.” I hang up, and turn to Clyde. “Looks like we’re going on a field trip. Tweek threw up and wants to go home.”

“Oh no!” Clyde immediately sits up at that. “I’ll get my shoes.” I get up to do the same, taking the time to respond to my boyfriend.

 

_I’m coming over. You’ll be okay._

 

Clyde and I head downstairs and find my dad, to whom I explained the situation, and he gladly agreed to drive me over to Bebe’s house and then to Tweek’s. Luckily her house was just a few houses down, so it only took us a couple minutes. I text both Bebe and Tweek to let them know I was here before hopping out of the car and rushing to the door to ring the doorbell. The door immediately opens, Tweek standing there with Bebe, the other girls lingering behind them.

Tweek steps out towards me as soon as the door opens, and I am right here to receive him, holding his hand the first chance I get. He speaks, but not to me, facing the girls in the doorway. “Agh, sorry I have to leave, but thanks for inviting me!”

“No problem! We’ll hang out again when you’re feeling better, okay?” Bebe smiles at him, and Tweek nods. I was glad that they did seem to get along well after all.

“Yeah! Bye!”

“Bye!” The girls wave goodbye in unison before closing the door, and Tweek finally turns to me.

“How are you feeling?” I ask, wanted to get that out of the way, but it was clear that he wasn’t feeling good. He didn’t look good.

“Urgh. Nauseous.” I figured as much.

“Well, we’ll get you home, and you can drink some tea and rest. At least, I think tea helps with nausea… Anyway, come on, Clyde is in the car waiting.”

“Clyde?” Tweek questions as we start back towards my dad’s car.

“Yeah he was at my house when you texted.”

“Gah!” Tweek stops in his tracks, stopping me too. “I ruined your guy’s time together? I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have bothered you! I could have just stayed here for another hour! It’s not even that bad!”

“Tweek. We’re still hanging out, you didn’t ruin anything. Besides, we were both worried about you, we wanted to go pick you up together.” As I give him an explanation, Tweek calms down and squeezes my hand. I squeeze back, and we walk back the car, sliding into the back seats next to Clyde.

“Hi, Clyde.” Tweek looks over at him past me as I was sitting in between the two of them. While he was preoccupied with addressing the other, I slide an arm around him and pull him close.

“Hey, Tweek! Feeling okay?” Clyde leans out to talk back to him.

“I’m okay… just a little sick.” Tweek leans into me as they talk, and I link our hands once again. I notice something. His nails were painted a light, icy blue. My gaze travels from his nails, and I notice something else. His fingers were thin. I felt like I could break them if I squeezed too hard. Like Clyde had said, I knew Tweek was strong. I knew he could take care of himself. But sometimes I worried that he wasn’t taking care of himself.

The car lurched into motion, beginning the drive to Tweek’s house. I pull Tweek closer to me, catching his attention. It seemed he could read my face easily, because he says, “Don’t worry. That’s my job.” I smile. He was right, but at the same time, I saw a sprout. A small, green stem sticking out of a mound of wet dirt. The leaves were large, heavy, weighing it down. The little sprout couldn’t grow like this, and I hoped I was wrong, but I worried anyway. I worried that I was right. I was worried that the hand I held would keep getting thinner, and the whole sprout would crumble in my grasp.


	3. Vegetative

It was snowing. The sky was gray and white dust fell from the clouds, coating the ground around me in a thick, soft layer. I look up, squinting to prevent any of the flakes from getting in my eyes, but I open my mouth wide, letting the flakes fall past my crooked teeth and onto my tongue. Snow wasn’t anything new in South Park, much less uncommon, but the forecast today predicted clear skies. Oh well. It wasn’t like snow here changed anything, so I still had to go to school. The school that I was loitering outside out of, putting off going inside. But then again, Tweek was probably already inside. Because of his parents work, he usually got to school an hour early and ended up sitting around alone for a while. I had continually tried to convince my parents to drive me in early too, but they were not having anything to do with waking up earlier than they needed to. Normally I would agree, but I hated the thought of my boyfriend being all alone at school for so long. So, in order to not make him wait any longer, I finally walk in.

Normally, Tweek would wait for me by my locker, so logically I head there. However, there wasn’t anyone waiting for me when I got to my locker. Maybe he was at his? So, I go and check his. Still, no signs of Tweek. Well, it was getting pretty close to class starting, so maybe he was already in the classroom. Concluding that was where he must be, I head to our sixth grade classroom. However, he wasn’t there either. I bite my lip and head to my desk to sit down anyway. Pulling out my phone, I check for any texts from Tweek saying he was going to be late. Nothing. That was strange. He was texting me normally this morning, and it wasn’t like Tweek to just not come to school. Honestly, given how forgetful he could be lately though, I wouldn’t be surprised if he forgot it was Monday. So, I decide to message him just in case.

 

_You coming to school?_

 

Class started without me getting a response from Tweek. I couldn’t focus on anything the teacher was saying, my mind racing with thoughts of my boyfriend. Was he sick? So sick he couldn’t pick up the phone to tell me? Had he gotten in a car wreck on the way to school? God, it seemed like his paranoia was rubbing off on me. Despite being lost in thought, I do notice when a crumpled ball of paper hits me in the temple. I glance in the direction of where the ball came from, and of course Clyde was pointing aggressively at the wad. I roll my eyes, but open the paper ball. Inside, scribbled in Clyde’s handwriting was, “Are you okay?” I grab my own pen to write back.

“Tweek’s absent,” I crumble the paper back up and then toss it back to Clyde. He reads the message before adding another below mine and handing it back.

“I noticed,” It read. “Is that all?”

“And he won’t answer his phone,” I add and hand it back to Clyde. Of course, he continues the note passing after another scribbled out sentence and hands it back to me.

“‘Maybe he’s sick and sleeping in?”

“But he answered my texts fine this morning.” At this, Clyde didn’t seem to have a response. After reading what I wrote, he simply looks at me with a frown and shrugs. Obviously I wasn’t expecting him to have a special insight into the situation to clear away all my anxieties, but at least it felt nice to tell my best friend what was bothering me. I turn my head to stare at the empty desk next to me. Something just didn’t feel right.

When lunch came around, the rest of the guys were trying almost too hard to distract me from the issue at hand. While I appreciated the effort, frankly, there wasn’t anything that could keep me from worrying right now. Tweek was the most important person to me, and to think that something bad could have happened to him was probably one of the scariest thoughts. Although, I didn’t want anyone to know how terrified I was, so, I was content with just sitting there looking bored, as per usual. I rested my cheek on my propped up fist with my left hand, my right hand picking at my lunch. I wasn’t hungry, I didn’t think I could keep the food down even if I tried, but I again, no one needed to know that.

“Next month is wi….wi…..wi… win… Christmas break. Do you g-guys wanna do something?” Jimmy suggests in between bites of his food. Even though that was so far away, it seemed Jimmy was just trying to bring up anything in order to brighten my mood.

“I’m obviously going to be busy with my family on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day but, we can hang out at my house anytime before then,” Token responds and Clyde nods in agreement.

“Yeah! Maybe we could have like a sleepover? Stay up all night watching shitty Christmas movies? Could you come Craig?” Clyde turns to me, poking my cheek in an attempt to have me join the conversation.

“Sure,” I respond, although I was only partially listening. I didn’t turn to face anyone else, but instead my eyes were fixed down at my uneaten lunch. I do notice that everyone goes quiet, I spot some smiles fade into frowns. Dammit. I was trying my best to appear normal, but I guess this was bothering me just that much. Token was the  first to call me out.

“Craig, look, I know that Tweek is absent today, but I’m sure he’s just home sick. He wouldn’t want you to worry about him all day anyway, but if you’re this hung up on it, why not call his parents?” I had considered that earlier, but frankly I wasn’t sure if Tweek’s parents would even know what was going on given how they were. However, maybe it was worth a shot after all. I happened to have Tweek’s home number, so, why not give it a try.

“Fine,” I take out my phone, dialing the number, and holding up the phone to my face with a constant frown. Although, I was hoping this would at least give me some sort of closure. The phone rang. Once, twice, three times, _four times_ … then voicemail. I don’t even bother to leave a voicemail, cursing as I hang up the phone. “They didn’t answer.”

“T-Try again?” Jimmy suggests, and begrudgingly, I call back.

“Leave a voicemail too this time!” Clyde adds. Fuck it, I might as well. Once again, the phone rings and rings until finally going to voicemail. I leave a message this time.

“Hi, this is Craig. Tweek isn’t at school today so I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. Get back to me as soon as you can. Thanks, bye.” With that, I hang up, and Clyde holds out a thumbs up to me. Even though I left a voicemail, I didn’t feel any better. It only made me feel worse knowing that his parents didn’t pick up. Maybe they were the reason that Tweek was missing? It wouldn’t surprise me, his parents were the worst. Everyone else seemed to be satisfied with my attempt nevertheless, so they just continued on with their conversations, but he was still on my mind.

School was going to be over in an hour, and I still hadn’t heard anything back from Tweek’s parents. As soon as school was over, I was heading straight to his house. Or at least, that was my plan, until the intercom clicks on, a voice ringing out. “Craig Tucker please report to the principal's office.” Shit. I thought I had been good lately. Okay, maybe I liked to abuse my position of power as a sixth grader to mess with some of the younger kids, but it was nothing cruel. Oh well, it wasn’t like be going to the principal’s office was anything new, but at least I hadn’t gone in a while. As soon as I get up from my desk, a familiar voice I loathed speaks up.

“Hah, Craig’s in trouble!”

“Shut up Cartman,” I immediately flip him off, but he didn’t care, running his mouth as I walk past him through the classroom out the door. God I hated him. I would rather be in the principal’s office all day if it meant I never had to listen to him speak again. Hopefully I was just going to be sent home though, since the schoolday would be over soon anyway, and I didn’t want to deal with him teasing me as soon as I got back after all.

I let myself into the principal’s office, PC Principal seated at his desk. I head to the chair in front of him to sit down, ready for whatever he was going to scold me on, but he spoke up before I even got the chance to sit. “Craig, you’re not in trouble.” Oh that was a relief. “But the hospital called.” My heart dropped, and I couldn’t keep up any kind of stoic expression. I knew exactly what was going on, and it was everything that I had been hoping it wasn’t. But I was right. “Tweek was hospitalized this morning. If you want to go see him, you’re dismissed for the day.” He didn’t need to tell me twice. I pull out my phone as I turn out of the room, calling my dad to tell him to pick me up and take me to the hospital. After I tell him why, he says he’ll be right over. I head back to the classroom, and as expected, Cartman speaks up. I ignore him, grabbing my backpack. My friends speak up in confusion, and I answer as I swing my bag over my shoulder, already heading out.

“Tweek’s in the hospital.” Even Cartman went quiet as I left.

* * *

During the ride to the hospital, my dad didn’t try to console me. He knew me well enough to know that nothing he could say would make me feel any better right now. I just needed to get there and find out what was going on. I had to make sure that he was okay. As soon as we arrive at the hospital, my dad stops in front, letting me hop out of the car and head inside while he left to park. I practically run inside, heading to the front desk to find out where Tweek’s room was, and as soon as I know, I’m heading that way. I stop when I find Tweek’s door, standing in front of it for a moment. I was scared; I didn’t know what was behind the door. However, I needed to see him. So, I take a deep breath, and muster up the courage to walk in.

He was the only one in the room. He was sitting upright in bed, twitching and shaking, tubes sticking out of him. When he hears the door open, he looks towards me, immediately screeching. “Aha CRAIG!” I run over, throwing my arms around Tweek, although I try not to squeeze too hard. I still didn’t know what was wrong with him. He does hug back however, tightly. He squeezes me and his hands cling to the back of my shirt, his head buried under my chin, causing his chaotic hair to tickle my face. I didn’t mind however, I just nuzzle my face into the blonde mess. Eventually, I slowly separate us, moving my hands to hold Tweek’s face, so I could look at him. He twitches, “Craig,” repeating my name again. This time, I respond.

“Tweek. What happened?” He lifts a hand, grabbing one of mine that held his cheeks. I intertwine our fingers, holding him securely, even as he shook.

“I-I had a seizure. Urgh. My parents brought me to the emergency room, then I had another.”

“Shit.” I sigh, leaning my forehead against his. “Did they say anything else? Do you know when you’ll be able to go home?”

“I don’t know! They just did some blood tests and shit and told me they’d tell me later, but they’re just talking to my parents! And they won’t let me have my coffee! Urgh! I just want out!” I squeeze Tweek’s hand.

“They’re probably just telling them what medicine you need or something. Then you’ll be able to go home soon.”

“But what if they’re not! What if they’re telling my parents that I’m going to die! Agh! I knew that I was going to get sick and die Craig!”

“Hey, babe, you’re not going to die. You’re here, and you’re fine, right? I won’t let you die.” I force a smile. I wanted to cheer him up, but in all honesty, I wasn’t sure I believed what I was saying myself. What did seizures mean? Could he really be fine? I didn’t want to think about the possibilities.

“Can you stay here? Until they come back?” He asks, and of course, I nod.

“I’m staying here until they have to kick me out.” With that, I finally get a smile from Tweek. Although, even with his beautiful smile, he didn’t look good. If normally he looked like a mess, right now, he looked like a disaster. He looked more tired and drained than ever. “Do you want to try to sleep?” I suggest, he really looked like he needed it.

“Agh, I just woke up, I want to be awake with you.” I sigh, but nod.

“At least lay down? For me?” Tweek hesitates, but then scoots down and lays back. Maybe he’d get tired and fall asleep like this at least. I grab a nearby chair, pulling it over to sit at his bedside, and then I go quiet, gently running my hand through his hair. He stays quiet for a moment, a smile on his lips as he looks up at me, and I continue to smile back.

“Craig?” He speaks up, as I was eventually expecting him too. While I was content with being silent with him, he seemed to want to keep the air between us busy, probably to keep himself awake.

“Yeah?” I question, and Tweek opens his mouth to ask whatever it was that was on his mind, but instead, he sits up. I was about to make him lay back down again, but he leans in, draping his arms around my neck and pressing his lips against mine. That was surprising. It was unusual that Tweek would initiate such a suave kiss, but I wasn’t complaining. When he pulls away, face red, I raise an eyebrow. Tweek lays back down, pulling the blankets up over most of his face.

“I wanted to make up for you coming all the way here…” I roll my eyes at that.

“You got me out of school, that’s good enough. Besides, you don’t need an excuse to kiss me.” I run my hand back through his hair before I lean down to peck his nose with a kiss of my own.

“You got me there,” Tweek says, taking my hand again. As I squeeze his hand again, I hear the door open. Looking over, Tweek’s parents file into the room, and who I assumed was the doctor following behind them.

“Oh hello Craig,” Tweek’s mom looks over, smiling at me.

“Hi,” I respond, keeping my grip firmly on Tweek’s hand. I never trusted his parents. Tweek once again sits up, of course, speaking his mind before anyone gets to say anything else.

“Am I okay? Can I go home now? Can I _please_ have my coffee?” I felt awful hearing him ask, but I had a feeling I knew what the doctor was going to say, and as I expected, she shakes her head.

“We’d like to keep him here overnight, just in case. And no coffee.”

“Gahaha!” Tweek flinches as he shrieks, and I frown. I knew I’d have to leave eventually, but maybe we could just call all night. Speaking of which, I didn’t think Tweek had his phone, given how he didn’t message or call me at all after this morning.

“Don’t worry Tweek, we’ll see you tomorrow!” Tweek’s dad says as if that’s going to calm down his son at all. I’m sure Tweek seeing his parents was the last thing he was worried about. He was probably ten times more paranoid just at the thought of spending the night in a hospital alone. So, I turn to him.

“Do you have your phone? I can call you tonight once visiting hours are over.”

“Oh!” Tweek seemed to have totally forgotten that his phone was a thing, which was excusable given the circumstances. “Mom, Dad, could you get my stuff for me, like my phone?”

“Of course sweetie,” His mom answers, and I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes. Anytime either of them opened their mouths, it just sounded so disingenuous.

“Well, I will have my phone. Don’t leave until then though,” Tweek looks at me with his big eyes, but he certainly didn’t have to beg.

“I’m not going anywhere until I have to,” I shake my head. I still had a few more hours until visiting hours were over, and I was planning on sticking around until then. Speaking of which, I text my dad to let him know I was staying here until then, so he could leave until he needed to pick me up later.

Eventually, Tweek’s parents and the doctor leave the room, allowing the two of us to be alone again. This time, I was the one to break the comfortable silence (well, as close as it could get to silent given Tweek’s noises) out of curiosity. “Do you know what these are all about?” I ask, gesturing to the tubes he was connected to.

“Oh, they said it was um… urck… stuff to keep me from having another seizure.” Well that was good. I’m not sure what I’d do if he had another seizure on me. I was almost shaking just thinking about it. So, I change the subject.

“By the way, Token, Jimmy, Clyde, and I were talking about having like a shitty Christmas movie sleepover once winter break starts. You wanna join?”

“Yeah!” Tweek once again seems to cheer up, nodding and smiling.

“Great, now I’m looking forward to it.” Sure, I would have enjoyed myself like I used to while hanging out with the gang without Tweek, but now he made it even better. Tweek and I just talked for a while. I told him about what happened at school today, and we talked about what we wanted to do for our next date once he got out of here. I filled our conversations with fluff as I soon realized that dead air would be replaced with Tweek getting upset over wanting coffee or wanting to get out of here. I felt bad, but I just wanted what was best for him, and right now that was staying in the hospital and not drinking coffee.

Tweek’s mom shows back up at the hospital with his phone eventually, and soon enough, I have to leave. However, with a kiss goodbye, I promise my boyfriend that I’d call him as soon as I got home. I follow through on that promise as soon as I do get home, calling Tweek. We end up talking all night. While I wasn’t planning on going back to school tomorrow, I didn’t need to worry about going to bed in time. I think I fell asleep sometime around four in the morning, because I wake up sometime late in the morning, confused and with a goodnight text from Tweek from around four thirty. Yawning, I get up, going to get ready while I call Tweek back at the same time.

“Craig?” His voice rises through the phone speakers as soon as he picks up, which doesn’t take long.

“Mmhmm, sorry I fell asleep last night,” I yawn again, changing into some clean clothes.

“It’s okay! I got some sleep too!” That was a relief. Knowing how little Tweek slept, any time he got any sleep was a big relief.

“I’m going to brush my teeth and shit, but then I’ll be back over soon, okay?”

“Okay! My parents are coming over too to talk to the doctors again, so hopefully I’ll be able to get out of here today too.”

“Probably yeah,” I assure him, “Then we can hang out for the rest of the day. Get you some much deserved coffee, how does that sound?”

“Urgh! Amazing! Jesus, I want coffee so badly.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll have coffee soon.” I stay on the phone with Tweek as I get ready, finally hanging up when it was time for my dad to take me to the hospital again. I was going to see him in person soon anyway. Like last time, my dad drops me off at the hospital, and I let him know that I’d text him when he needed to come get me. I make my way into the hospital and to Tweek’s room. As I draw near, I hear yelling coming from inside. I pause, my eyes widening at the sound of Tweek’s raised voice, but I soon bust my way into the room to see what was going on.

Tweek was screaming alright, his hands tugging at his hair, he doesn’t even notice me come in. I glance over to the nurse who was in the room, and she looks back at me, looking distressed. Clearly, she didn’t know how to deal with him. I rush over, sitting on the hospital bed, and grabbing Tweek’s hands. He flinches as he notices my presence, struggling and trying to shove me away aggressively before he snaps his eyes open. As soon as he notices me, Tweek stops fighting. “CRAIG!”

“What’s going on here?” I ask, glancing back at the nurse for a moment, then back to Tweek.

“Gah! I don’t get to leave!”

“What?” I raise an eyebrow.

“The doctors said I can’t leave! Urk! And they won’t tell me why!” Tweek grips my hands tightly, and I let him squeeze me as hard as he needs to as long as it means that he isn’t hurting himself. After all, I notice that he had been scratching at his skin since I’d been gone.

“Why not?” I ask, keeping my voice calm.

“Because of my parents! My parents won’t let them tell me! ARGH! They always do shit like this! They never tell me the truth or care what I want!”

“How are you feeling?” I ask, keeping my voice soothing and low as my hands gently caress Tweek’s.

“Bad! I’m so upset! I… I just…” Tweek’s voice breaks as his anger crumbles into defeat. Tears well in his eyes, and he looks down. “I want to go home, Craig… I want to go back to school… I want to know what’s wrong with me!” He leans into me, and I wrap my arms around him, holding his small body close. I don’t say anything, letting Tweek get out all of his emotions. He cries into my shoulder for a moment, and luckily, the nurse leaves at this point, seeing that I’ve got him. When he finally calms down, Tweek pulls away, wiping his eyes. “T-Thank you, Craig…” I smile, moving my hand to his cheek to gently rub the skin with my thumb.

“I’m going to figure out what’s going on, okay hun?” Not only for Tweek but to satisfy myself. I wanted to know why the hell they were keeping Tweek in the hospital when he seemed fine. I was worried too though, if they weren’t telling Tweek, it had to be serious, right?

“You are?” He questions.

“Yeah, I am. You deserve to know.” I get up from the bed, with a kiss to his forehead. “I won’t be long, okay? Try not to yell at anymore nurses.” I smirk, and Tweek chuckles at that, nodding.

“Alright. I won’t.” With that, I head out of Tweek’s room. I honestly had no idea where I was going, but if I kept down the hallway, I was sure to run into Tweek’s parents eventually, right? It took a lot of wandering and asking around, but eventually I spot the family couple at the end of the hallway talking to what seemed to be a doctor. They didn’t see me coming, so this was a good opportunity, I could listen in to their conversation. I step close enough that I could hear, standing around the corner of a hallway and focusing on their voices.

“Are you sure you don’t want to question him about it?” The doctor asks, and Tweek’s mom responds in her never-changing tone.

“Tweek would never! There must have been a mistake.”

“I’m sorry, but irrefutably, we found methamphetamine in his bloodstream.” I felt a tremor rattle my entire body at those words. Methamphetamine? Like meth? The drug? They found drugs in Tweek’s system? No way. I scratch my head with one hand, the other pulling out my phone. I had to check. So, I google, “symptoms of meth use.” I open a link, and as I read the page, my eyes widen. Anxiety. Insomnia. Irritability. Nervousness. Paranoia. Picking at your skin. Tremors. Weight loss. It was like it was describing Tweek himself. But… meth? Tweek didn’t do drugs. Did he? The last thing I wanted to do was bust back into his room and accuse him of stuff, but I needed to get to the bottom of this.

Without confronting the adults, I head back to Tweek’s room. I step inside, and Tweek looks over quickly. I could tell he had been waiting for me. “Did you find anything out?” He questions and I begrudgingly drag myself over to his bedside, sitting down in the chair next to him. I take his hand, holding it for a moment before I answer.

“I’m just going to be blunt with you. Have you uh… ever done drugs?”

“... What?!” Tweek twitches pretty violently as he raises his voice, sitting up straight. “Why would I do drugs? Drugs _kill_ people! Gah!” Obviously, that was what I wanted to hear. I didn’t think Tweek would ever, I didn’t think he was the type of person to get into that stuff anyway. The only thing I could ever see him being addicted to was his coffee-... Oh no.

“Tweek.” I didn’t know what the right way to say this was, but if this was to keep Tweek safe, it wasn’t something I could keep quiet about. “The doctors said they found meth in your system. Like the drug. They think you do meth.”

“I don’t do meth! Why is there meth in me? Oh GOD! _They’re_ coming for me! _They’re_ slowly drugging me until I-”

“Tweek!” I didn’t know who _they_ were, but it didn’t matter right now, this was important. “I think it’s your coffee. I think your coffee is drugged.” He freezes. His eyes wide, and his brain busy. That was a lot to process. This kid who loved his coffee was just told that it was drugged, and I don’t think I would take it well if someone told me Stripe was giving me cancer or something after all.

“Agh!” Tweek puts his head in his hands, and I lean forward to try to take his hands back, but he slaps my hands away. Hard. I stumble backward in surprise, and he stares up at me, looking just as shocked as I was. “GAH! CRAIG!” He was panicking, his eyes wetting as he starts to cry. I lean forward again, this time to hug Tweek. He doesn’t lash out this time, but grips me tightly. “Craig! Craig I… I’m sorry I… I didn’t mean to hit you!”

“It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to. I get it. It’s scary, right?”

“I… I can’t believe it Craig I… who… who could drug my coffee!? No one can get to it but me and-...” Once again, Tweek goes quiet, but only for a moment. “No… no no no no….” He pushes me away, his hands pulling at his hospital gown. Sobbing, the boy shakes his head violently. “No! I want out! I want out!” I try to gently place my hands on Tweek again, but he thrashes and gets me off him. Shit. I didn’t know what to do. “My parents Craig! It’s my parents!” He cries out, confessing the thought that had caused his hysteria. I stare at Tweek, taking a moment to internalize his words. Tweek was right. It was his parents. Our eyes locked, I start to cry too.

* * *

Tweek’s doctors were informed of our suspicions, and the police were called. Tweek’s parents were taken into questioning, and it turned out we were right after all. While neither of them would admit anything at first, after an investigation, Tweek Bros coffee was found to be laced with meth. Once everything was uncovered, the couple finally told the truth. Apparently, the two had been doing drugs together before Tweek was born, and when Tweek’s mom got pregnant, neither of them cared enough to stop. So, when he was born, the two of them got the idea to keep their meth use and the effects of the drug on Tweek hidden, by opening a coffee shop. They could play off Tweek’s condition as a result of a coffee addiction, while also making money off of selling addicting coffee that the town of South Park wouldn’t be able to quit. As they should, they got sentenced to twenty years in prison, although, I thought they deserved more.

Tweek stayed in the hospital for a while, receiving treatment to help him with everything he had been suffering from his parents. Eventually, I had to go back to school, but I visited him every day after school and all day on the weekends to keep him company. He needed it. This was a tough time and I couldn’t let Tweek be all alone. I knew he already felt like he was. During this process, my parents filed for temporary guardianship of Tweek. I didn’t even have to beg them to, but like me, I was sure they didn’t want to see someone so close to all of us shipped off to some foster home somewhere.

After a week in the hospital, Tweek was finally allowed to come home with us. My parents had set up a cot in my room for him to sleep in for now, although, it wasn’t all over like that. Although Tweek no longer had any access to the coffee he once drank like water, he still wanted it. Badly. He wasn’t the same. It wasn’t that he wasn’t regular old Tweek anymore, he was worse. He had been able to sleep for a couple days in the hospital, but now, he was always tired, but still couldn’t sleep. And that was just the start of it. No matter what I did, it wasn’t helping. I know all I could do was be a source of support for Tweek while he got over this. For now, I was doing all I could.

The two of us sat on the couch, a blanket over us as Red Racer was on. I had already seen the episode plenty of times over, so I didn’t really care what we watched, but Tweek didn’t either. There wasn’t a lot that interested him lately. He just laid back on the couch, resting one arm on the arm of the couch, his other hand was rubbing his eyes. His eyes weren’t looking at the screen, and instead were pointed downward at the floor. I attempt to lean over, gently rubbing him on the shoulder to get his attention or something, but instead Tweek’s lips pull into an even tighter frown. “Why are you trying so hard?” He speaks up unexpectedly, and I retract my hand, sitting upright.

“Tweek, I’m your boyfriend, you shouldn’t have to ask that.”

“Well _I’m_ being a shitty boyfriend!” Tweek suddenly sits up too, his hands tightening into fists. “You’re going to leave me eventually! You’re going to grow tired of my shit and you’re going to leave me! I know you’re going to! I know that I’m annoying! You’re all going to leave me!”

“It’s not your fault Tweek. You’re sick, and I’m not going anywhere. I want to help you get better.” I insist, keeping calm as always. Tweek got irritated a lot recently. There was a lot going on, and I knew that all his paranoia right now was making everything harder on him. Even so, there was no way I was going to do anything to hurt Tweek even more.

“Gah!” Tweek gets up, throwing the blanket off him and climbing off the couch. He stomps off to the kitchen, coming back a minute later with a bag of chips. Then, instead of returning to the couch, he goes to our room, slamming the door behind him. I groan, rubbing my temples. It hurt. I hated seeing him like this, but I really was doing all I could.

“Craig?” I look up to see Tricia walking down the stairs, coming over to join me on the couch where Tweek was sitting before. “I heard yelling. How is Tweek?”

“He got angry again. He thinks that we’re all going to give up on him. He doesn’t listen when I tell him we’re not I… fuck.” I slump back on the couch, and Tricia frowns, crossing her arms.

“I guess all you can do is keep telling him that he’s wrong.”

“I know…” I sigh. Tricia, then pats me on the back.

“Look, whatever you’re thinking, I know you’re a great boyfriend. You’re doing everything you can for him. I’m sure he knows that too, and he appreciates it and loves you too… he’s just not himself right now.” With that she leaves my side to head back up to her room.

“Thanks Tricia.” I smile, getting up from the couch. I head upstairs too, walking into my room. Tweek was curled up on his cot, munching on a bag of chips. I walk over to him, sitting down next to him on the cot. Tweek doesn’t say anything at first in between bites before he eventually scoots closer to me.

“I-I’m sorry for yelling... I… I just… sometimes I… I can’t help it… I see things and hear things, and they scare me I…. I just don’t want to be alone…” Tweek sniffles, and I wrap my arms around him.

“I promise. I’m not going to leave you alone. I’m here for you. We’re all here for you.”  
“I know… I know Craig… I just… I can’t help it I… I just… I want coffee… I want it so bad that it hurts.”

“We have coffee, if you want some, that’s fine you know.”

“No…” Tweek shakes his head. “I know I can I…. I want _my_ coffee. The bad coffee.”

“Right…” I should have guessed that was what he meant.

“Craig, sometimes I want it so much that I just want to _die_ ,” Tweek says this in a whisper. I knew that Tweek had been struggling with depression since he began dealing with withdrawal, but hearing him say those words out loud shook me to my core. I wish I knew what I could say to make those thoughts go away, but I knew that those words didn’t exist.

“If you ever need to talk about how you feel, I’m here for you, okay? I don’t know how much help I can be, I know I have no idea what you’re dealing with right now, but I think I’m pretty good at giving comforting hugs at least.” That got a little smile out of Tweek. I wasn’t sure if it was genuine or not, but it was better than nothing.

“Then… can we cuddle?” Tweek looks up at me, and despite the fact that he was looking like a wreck lately, his eyes were as big and beautiful as always. I wasn’t going to mention the fact that if my parents caught us cuddling in bed with the door closed, we were going to get in trouble, and instead nod.

“You know I can never say no to cuddling.” I flop down on the bed, holding my arms open for Tweek to cuddle into, which he does. I hug him close, burying my face into his mass of hair. Tweek’s face nuzzled into my chest, and I feel his legs tucking up between us. I hold him close as he lays curled up, wanting him to feel secure in my arms. I gently rub at his back, tracing my fingers gently around in the shapes of circles and hearts. While we’re both quiet for a while, Tweek eventually pulls his head back to look up, and I look down as well.

“I love you Craig.” I was about to respond with a similar phrase, but he continues on. “I know my parents never loved me. But they told me they did… but it was all a lie. Everything was a lie. They lied to me about everything.” Tweek’s fists around my shirt tighten. “I’m scared it’s going to happen again. I can’t help but think that everyone’s lying. I can’t trust anyone. Sometimes… Sometimes I even think you’re lying. It just….” I was glad Tweek was opening up to me about his feelings. No matter what was going on, it was better for him to be able to vocalize it opposed to just keeping it all bottled up inside. I was terrified that everything he was feeling was going to build up until he exploded, but at least he was telling me all this now.

“Is there anything I can do to help you believe me?” I ask, and Tweek hesitates before seemingly finding some confidence in his answer as he suddenly responds.

“Tell me you love me. A lot. And hug me, and cuddle me, and kiss me. Don’t ever stop.” Tweek clings to me again, and I hug him back tightly, a smile creeping back on my lips again. This was the Tweek I wanted. The Tweek who could be jealous and needy and selfish. The Tweek that let himself into my room at seven in the morning when he needed me. Sure, my room was now his room too, but all I wanted was for him to shake me awake to tell me about whatever was troubling him. Whether it was underpants gnomes, aliens, or the terrifying withdrawal symptoms he was dealing with. I wanted to be here for him.

“I love you then,” I smile, squeezing Tweek close to me. I press my lips to his forehead, then his nose, and finally his lips. “I love you,” I repeat, and I’d say it as much as he wanted. I knew deep down that there was no amount of kisses that could cure Tweek, that nothing I could do could ever fix him, but if me loving him would help him get along, then that’s what I was planning on doing.

* * *

Eventually, Craig and I both had to go back to school. I obviously hadn’t been in weeks, and while Craig had been going off and on, he definitely hadn’t been a consistent student. I was still in the middle of detoxing, having to go a few weeks just to get over withdrawal symptoms before starting therapy, but I was worried about missing too much school. So, it was soon finally time for me to go back.

When Craig’s parents dropped us both off, and we walked into the elementary school, hand in hand, we turned lots of heads. I could feel every person’s eyes on me, burning into my soul, judging me. I could hear every whisper that fled their lips, mocking me. When we reached Craig’s locker where we used to hang out before class, I snapped, spilling my deep paranoia. “NngAHA! Craig! Everyone is staring at me! They all know everything! Now they think I’m a freak! GAH! They’re going to kill me! I know they’re plotting to get rid of me!”

“Everyone is just surprised to see you back Tweek, you haven’t been to school in a long time.” He reassures me, and I listen, nodding in response. Leaning back against the wall of lockers, Craig wraps his arms around me. “Would you rather them stare at us because they’re jealous of how cute of a couple we are?”

“Heh… yeah…” I hug him back. I notice Craig’s expression loosen, probably because I had calmed down. We stay here against the lockers holding each other in comfortable silence for a few moments before a voice breaks through the still air, and in embarrassment, I jump away from my boyfriend.

“Uh, hey fellas, sorry to interrupt your smoochin’, but PC Principal wanted to see us Tweek.”

“We weren’t kissing!” My first reaction is to set the accusation straight, and it takes me a second to even realize that it was Butters who had approached us. I used to think that Butters was just a nice kid, but when we started playing superheroes, and he decided to be a bad guy, I didn’t think I could trust him! Was he just playing innocent and underneath he was truly evil? “Gah!” I didn’t trust him at all anymore. “What does the principal want with me? What does he want with us? I haven’t even been at school!” Craig steps into the conversation, taking his hand in mine.

“He probably just wants to talk about getting you back into classes like normal. Maybe he wants Butters to help you catch up on work. I’ll see you in class, okay?” I didn’t want Craig to leave me alone with Butters and the principal, but I wasn’t going to rely on his support for everything. I didn’t need it.

“O-Okay…” I nod, and Craig kisses my cheek before leaving for the classroom, and I turn to Butters. He smiles, leading me along to the principal’s office, and I follow. My head floods with thoughts on the walk over. What if I’m in trouble for some reason? What if I’m not allowed to continue school? What if I’m  held back for missing too many days? What if--

“After you Tweek,” I look up, Butters held the office door open for me, and I twitch, hesitating, but walk inside, and Butters follows after me. PC Principal sat at his desk, Vice Principal Strong Woman standing next to him.

“Go ahead and sit down, both of you.” The principal gestures to the two chairs placed in front of his desk. I groan, nervous, and walk on over to sit down, Butters doing the same. “I know it’s been tough for both of you recently. No matter the circumstances, no one wants to lose their parents.”

“Wait, what?” I speak up, almost jumping out of my chair. Something happened to Butters and his parents> This was all news to me. “What happened?” I turn to Butters, and he stares at me for a moment, as if he wasn’t expecting his reaction. Was I supposed to know about this?

“Tweek, you shouldn’t make Butters uncomfortable by asking for such invasive information--” PC Principal starts, but Butters himself interrupts him.  
“It’s okay PC Principal, I can tell him.” He starts, looking from the principal, to me. “I guess Craig didn’t tell you, but after what happened to your parents, the police started investigating the parents in South Park due to some rumors, mostly about mine… I guess they heard they ground me a lot and lock me outside sometimes and… other stuff… Then the police came to talk to me, and eventually, they arrested my parents.” He pauses, and I frown. That moment, I suddenly felt horrible for not trusting Butters. He was probably fucked up like me too. I wasn’t really all that close to him, but it seemed that he had horrible parents too. Maybe I could sympathize with him after all. “I’ve been living with PC Principal and Strong Woman since then actually… so… it’s been okay.” Wow. I guess that made sense, if I recall, PC Principal and Strong Woman got married last year after all the drama surrounding their relationship died down. I guess they cared enough to look after Butters when his parents were arrested. As Butters concludes his story, Strong Woman speaks up this time.

“That’s what we wanted to talk to the two of you about.” She looks to her husband, then back to the two of us. “We were talking, and we wanted to know how you felt about us adopting both of you.”

“What!?” This time, I did jump out of my chair. “Adopt?” I didn’t know what to think, my mind was racing, it was too much pressure. “I… I can’t! I can’t right now! GRAHAH!” I didn’t wait to hear what anyone else had to say, running out of the room. I didn’t know what to do. Adoption? Eek! I needed someone to talk me through this, and of course it was obvious who that someone was. So, I burst into our classroom, despite the fact that class had just started, and pull a startled Craig out of the classroom and into the hallway.

“Woah, woah, babe, what’s going on?” Craig questions, and I take a moment as I stop before I burst.

“Adoption! PC Principal and Strong Woman want to adopt me! They want to adopt me and Butters!” Craig looks at me for a moment before he smiles.

“Seriously? That’s great Tweek!”

“What?! Great?! How is it great? They want to be my parents! How I am supposed to just accept that they’re my parents now! They’re my principals! It’s too much pressure! And… Butters would be my brother! I’ve never had siblings! That’s even more pressure! And…. And Craig! Why didn’t you tell me about Butters’ parents? You were supposed to tell me! You were just keeping it from me! So I wouldn’t freak out about it! I don’t need you to protect me!” Craig hesitates, his smile quickly fading away.

“Tweek, I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have kept anything from you. But, you were going through so much that I didn’t think that I should bother you with anything else. I… I won’t keep anything from you anymore though, okay? But… Tweek… don’t you want parents? My parents care for you but, we can’t adopt you. Besides, if they did, we’d be brothers, and I can’t date my brother. But, PC Principal and Strong Woman want to be your parents, and I think Butters would be a great brother too. And he doesn’t want to date you. Why not give them a chance? Tweek, I just want what’s best for you, I promise.”

“I don’t know!” And I really didn’t know. How could Craig possibly know what would happen if I agreed to getting adopted? “I need to think about it!”

“That’s okay. You can think about it. It’s a big decision.” Craig smiles again, taking my hand. “Should we go back to class now? We can talk more at lunch.” I hesitate, but nod, letting Craig pull me back into the classroom.

It was a weird adjustment, being in class again. It was hard to pay attention, and the monotony made my thoughts drift off to the places I hated most. I hold my arm tightly underneath my desk, not wanting anyone to see me. Especially not Craig, although, he did tend to look at me more than the teacher. I try not to look at him, as if he felt my gaze on him, he’d definitely look over. I dig my nails into my skin, biting down on my lip at the sharp pain. It hurt, but it felt good. It distracted me from all the horrible thoughts. I guess despite my attempts to hide it though, I was probably being too obvious. An arm reaches out from my left, grabbing the arm I was hurting and pulling it away from me. I jump in my seat, scared for a moment, before my wide eyes meet with Craig’s narrowed ones. He stares at my arm before he slides his hand over to cover the scratches. He doesn’t seem to get mad, but his hand stays holding my arm in between our desks, and he looks back to the teacher. I was worried, not sure what Craig was thinking. His lips maintained a steady frown, but that was the expression he normally upheld at school unless we were alone. Dammit. I fucked up again. I upset Craig. Why couldn’t I just be fucking normal?

When class ends, Craig gets up to tell something to the rest of the group before grabbing me and leading me out of the classroom. We stop at his locker, and he immediately pulls me into a hug. “I’m sorry,” He sighs into my neck, and I twitch, pulling myself away, so we could have a proper conversation.

“What? Why are you sorry?” That confused me, I was the one who hurt you.

“I told you to come back to school but if it’s too much for you then you can go home. And it’s okay if you don’t want to be adopted. I just don’t want you to hurt yourself.” Those words hurt me more. Craig’s voice cracked, and his balled up fists trembled. His pain hurt me the most. It hurt me way more than I could ever hurt myself, and it made me just want to hurt myself more, so I could feel the pain I deserved.

“No! Urgh, I don’t wanna be alone! If I don’t come to school, I’ll still do it! I will! But you won’t be there to stop me!” I blurt out the truth. Despite the fact that I knew that wasn’t what Craig wanted to hear, it was the truth. I didn’t think anything would make it all go away, what made me want to hurt myself, there wasn’t anything that could fix me. Not coming to school, getting adopted, even all the love in the world from Craig. It couldn’t make it go away. Craig nods at my words in understanding, he probably knew it too but didn’t want to admit it. He didn’t want to admit how messed up I was.

“Alright.” He takes a deep breath, “I love you Tweek. I really do. No matter what. I’m not mad that you hurt yourself, it’s not your fault. Now let’s go to lunch.” I force a smile and nod.

“I love you too.”

Craig and I join the others at the lunch table, and immediately everyone was talking to me. It had been a long time. Although, the slew of comments and questions fighting for dominance was getting overwhelming. “Gah! Shut up!” I snap suddenly without even really thinking about my words before they were coming out. They do go quiet, and I continue. “Just, one at a time, okay?” And just like that, they listen.

“Sorry Tweek, we just all missed you, a lot. We’re glad to see that you’re okay,” Token responds. I wasn’t going to tell him that I wasn’t okay, I didn’t want to make anyone else feel bad today.

“And you’re back just in time too! Winter break starts Friday, so we can still go ahead with our plans!” Clyde grins. Didn’t Craig mention something about having a Christmas party or something? I guess that was still on even after all this shit. Although, I really didn’t feel like partying, or hanging out with everyone at all. Before I had a chance to say anything on the matter, someone suddenly joins us at our lunch table. I look up to see Butters staring back at me.

“Um, hiya fellas, I hope you don’t mind me but I wanted to talk to Tweek.” I look to Craig, who takes my hand, squeezing it for support. We both knew what Butters was here to talk to me about, but Craig’s gesture told me not to run, and that he was here for me no matter what I told him. The rest of the table looked confused, but I ignore them.

“I’m sorry I freaked out Butters, agh, but I don’t know yet… It’s so sudden. I need to think about it!” That was the best answer I could give right now. I needed to think about it a lot. Living at Craig’s had been a crutch, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to walk on my own again yet.

“That’s okay Tweek! I bet it was a lot! I just thought I should tell you that I said yes. So, if you say yes too, we’ll be together!” Butters seemed really happy about this. I guess he would be to have parents that actually wanted him and would treat him well. I wondered if he missed his own parents at all. Sometimes, I wondered if I missed my own. I was pretty sure I didn’t but, honestly, I had been avoiding it.

“W-W-What’s this all about?” Jimmy questions, most likely speaking up on the behalf of the other two who were out of the loop as well. Craig glances at me for a moment, to see if I would respond, and when I don’t but squeeze his hands instead, he answers for me.

“PC Principal and Strong Woman want to adopt Tweek and Butters.” I twitch at the words, waiting for reactions from the others, but they all just smile.

“Oh! C-C-Cool!” Jimmy grins. They all seemed to want me to go with it just like Craig did. Didn’t anyone else see the problems with it? I look away from everyone else, focusing on my lunch. I didn’t want to talk about this right now; I just wanted to eat. Butters doesn’t leave, apparently enjoying the conversation he was now having with everyone else about his new parents. I didn’t join in, and I noticed that Craig didn’t either. I look up to see him looking back at me. I open my mouth to ask what his problem was, but my opportunity was soon taken from me as he places a forkful of mashed potatoes in my mouth. Furrowing my eyebrows, I chew and swallow. What the hell was he playing?

“Craig, what--” He interrupts me again by leaning over me and now stealing a mouthful of my lunch. “Craig!” I flail, upset. I didn’t get what he was doing! Seeing me get angry, he smiles taking the fist that I was shaking in his hand and suddenly kissing my knuckles. “Gah!” I feel my cheeks heat up, but Craig was a calm as ever. What was going on?!

“I love you Tweek,” He whispers against the skin, not loud enough for anyone else to hear him but me. “I’m sorry I love to tease you. I just don’t want the Tweek that I love to ever go away. I love when you freak out because that’s you. It’s okay if you’re not normal, I love you for how you are.” Was he reading my mind? Shit! Well, as scary as that idea was, at least I didn’t need to tell Craig. He already knew that I was fucked up. But he didn’t care, and I guess that made me happy.

“I love you too Craig,” I attempt to whisper back, but I wasn’t all too good at keeping my voice down, so I don’t think my words ended up between just the two of us.

“Gay!” Clyde’s voice rings out, and I catch Craig rolling his eyes. Dammit. Clyde laughs though, the others following, I even see Craig smile. I smile too. I think as long as I had this, I could be okay with not being okay. Or at least, I’d try to be.

* * *

It had been a few days since Tweek went back to school, and he had been doing okay. I knew there was a lot of pressure on him, but I wasn’t going to let him do this alone. I knew that he needed to think about it, so I tried not to bring up the topic of the adoption. I’d let him come to that conclusion at his own pace. He had to deal with everything else right now. For example, he had just started therapy and had a bunch of medications that he was to start taking as he had been diagnosed with ADHD and psychosis. Finding this out just added a whole new layer of pressure on him. But, at least now that he had a diagnosis, he could get help, unlike before. Then there was of course school, and I was doing my best in making sure that we did all our homework together. It helped him not forget to do it or get distracted, which he had been doing a lot before the incident. However, he had been doing better, and having the both of us there helped me actually want to do it right, which I didn’t do often. It was a win-win situation. I wasn’t the only one who was helping out Tweek either.

Tricia was making an effort to hang out with Tweek too. Sometimes she’d just bust into my room and join our conversation, and while that usually resulted in some sibling conflict, the two of them did end up getting along. I noticed that more recently his nails had usually been painted, and I assumed that was her doing, as I didn’t think Tweek had the ability to do something so precise. I was glad that they were getting close, however, even if it wasn’t much. Knowing Tweek was a good cook, my mom often encouraged him to make dinner with her. He was hesitant to at first, thinking that he was going to mess up and poison us all, but he eventually gave in after some encouragement, and I swear that dinner had been getting better every night since he began helping out. Even my dad joined in, finding that he and Tweek did share an interest in building shit like his legos and k’nex creations. I didn’t think Tweek really had any interest in building model ships, but at least my dad was trying. Everyone really just wanted Tweek to feel safe and loved, even if that wasn’t going to cure him, it would hopefully help a little.

There was one thing that had undoubtedly gotten better for Tweek however, he was able to sleep. Hell, sometimes, he was actually sleepy and wanted to head to bed before I did. Frankly, it was amazing, just knowing that he was actually getting rest for once in his life. Tweek deserved it. Also, it meant I finally got to see him sleeping, and boy was it adorable. It was the one time he looked totally peaceful. No anxieties, no fears, no paranoia, none of that. I just hoped that he never saw all the pictures of him in that state I had piled up in my phone. I was about to get some more tonight too.

Even though we technically weren’t supposed to, Tweek joined me in my bed for the night. He told me he always felt more comfortable curled up against my body heat. It kept him grounded. That didn’t mean he still didn’t wake me up in the middle of the night though. While he could fall asleep, the poor kid was often plagued with nightmares, but I had no problems being shaken awake to help him through them. Right now, we were both still awake, but cuddled close underneath the warmth of my covers. My eyes were closed, but I could feel Tweek laying close to me. His small body that seemed to always be moving, the warmth of his breath on my skin, the puff of air coming from his lips as he spoke. “Craig. I’ve decided.” This grabs my attention, and I open my eyes, looking down at him. “I’m going to say yes to PC Principal and Strong Woman.” I smile, pecking Tweek’s forehead.

“I’m glad. You deserve good parents.”

“Your parents are good parents to me,” Tweek adds, and I chuckle.

“Then you deserve two sets of good parents. No matter who your parents are, mine will always be there for you too.”

“Then… I can come here whenever I need to?... Actually, whenever I want to?”

“Of course, none of that will change. Keep the house key. You’re always going to be an honorary Tucker.” Tweek nods, and I run my hand through his hair, holding it at the back of his head.

“I’m scared Craig. There’s so much…. So much I’m scared of, but… I know that this will make things easier for everyone. For me. I think I’m ready to make the change.” I was really proud of him. While I was prepared for him to be sleeping in this room with me forever, I couldn’t be his family, after all, I would much rather be his boyfriend. Now I just had to try not to get jealous of all the time Butters would have with him. That boy better be grateful.

“It’s okay to be scared, there’s a lot to be scared of, but I’m going to be here through the whole thing if you need me,” I reassure Tweek, and he looks up at me like he always did, with those big, beautiful eyes.

“Promise?” He asks.

“I promise,” I nod, pecking his lips, eliciting a giggle from Tweek. My own eyes light up at that sound, and I kiss him again, although the boy I was kissing suddenly jumps upright in bed upon hearing footsteps outside my door. He falls over the side and onto the floor, and I scramble to look over the side to make sure he was okay as the door opens, my dad standing in the doorway.

“Craig… Tweek… what did I tell you about keeping the door closed?” I sigh, rolling my eyes.

“Not to unless we’re in our own beds.”

“EEK! MR. TUCKER! WE’RE SO SORRY PLEASE DON’T KILL ME! DON’T KILL CRAIG! OH GOD!” Tweek flails in a panic on the floor, waving his limbs up and down as he begged for mercy.

“Tweek, no one is killing anyone, but if I catch you two doing anything again, you’ll be grounded.” My dad gives us one last glance before turning to leave. I flip off his back, and then listen to him walk down the hallway, then open and close the door into his and my mom’s room. Then, I get up, shutting our door again, and helping the still panicking Tweek back onto my bed.

“BUT CRAIG! YOUR DAD SAID--”

“Shhh…” I hold a finger to his lips, and Tweek continues, in a somewhat more hushed tone.

“Your dad said we couldn’t sleep together with the door closed! You’re going to get in trouble! You’ll be grounded!” To shut him up, I kiss Tweek again.

“Then let him ground me. I want to sleep with you with the door closed. I want to kiss you without anyone sneaking a peek.”

“God Craig! You’re so selfish! If you get in trouble then I’m just going to have to deal with you being grounded, and then we can’t do anything together! And what about the winter break party? You’ll miss out on everything!”

“Yeah I’m selfish.” I shrug, pulling Tweek back down into bed with me. Tweek’s brows furrow, his lips pouting as he crosses his arms tightly over his pajama top.

“Asshole,” He grumbles, and I nod.

“I’m an asshole, but that’s part of my charm, right?” Seeing Tweek’s cheeks light up red, I knew I was right. I kiss him once more, and he relaxes just a little.

“Fine. But don’t blame me if I’m right,” He murmurs against my lips.

“I love you, Tweek,” I tell him, “I love you so much,” I add for good measure.

“I love you too, Craig,” He eventually gives up, relinquishing the frown for a small smile. We held each other close, closing our eyes to drift off to a sleep that we could finally share together.

That night, I dreamt of a plant, lean and bright green, sticking straight up out of the soil. It was raining. Storming. I could hear the wind howling all around me, but the plant did not budge. It didn’t even sway. Instead, a bright yellow bud suddenly grew from the side of the stem, and as if in a time-lapse, soon unfurled into a large flower.

Then I woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a doozy. Man. Also, I'm sorry for any mistakes involving any of the issues involved, I did what research I could, but I'm no expert.


	4. Growth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long! I've been pretty busy and this chapter ended up being a lot longer than expected! I'm sorry it's sort of rushed at the end, I just wanted to get it out it already and it was already so long ^^;

I squat down, heaving a medium-sized box up into my arms with a grunt, “Hrmpf. Damn. Tweek! What the hell did he put in this thing?” I grumble under my breath as I stabilize the heavy box in my arms for a moment before heading up the driveway to the front door of what was going to be Tweek’s new home. I walk in and stand before the end of the stairs, looking around the box to glare up the daunting physical test that laid before me. Here I go. Each step is careful, letting myself regain my balance before attempting another step. I had made it up a few before I suddenly felt the box get lighter. I glance around the corner to see a grungy, orange parka, and we both move the box up the stairs at a reasonable pace together. When we reach the top, we set the box down carefully to take a break, and I stretch out my arms as I look to the other, “Thanks, Kenny.” I had no idea that Kenny and Butters were all that close, but due to the fact that he had shown up to help Butters move in, as I did with Tweek, it seemed that they had some sort of substantial relationship.

“No problem,” Kenny gives me a grin, a grin that I could actually see. Recently, he had been wearing his hood up less and much less during normal conversation, and it was nice to actually be able to hear what the hell he was saying for once. I didn’t have the miraculous comprehension abilities of Stan, Kyle, and Cartman, who could somehow understand Kenny no matter how muffled his voice was. I guess that’s what happens when you’ve been friends since kindergarten. Kenny and I had never been all that close, mainly because I had no interest in interacting with his friend group, but he was probably the most tolerable of the four. Lately, however, I had been given more and more excuses to get closer to the others, especially Kenny. Tweek and started spending a lot of time with Butters since they were going to be with Butters, and often where Butters was, Kenny and the others were too.

I hoist the box back up into my arms, walking to the room that we were setting up for Tweek. I set the box down by the door, not willing to carry it further in than I needed to, and I walk around it to where Tweek was sitting on the floor, starting to empty boxes of clothes to put them away. He hasn’t noticed me come in yet, so I am light on my feet as I step closer, slowly getting on my knees behind him and then wrapping my arms around him. I feel him flinch in surprise at my presence, but before he can panic, I rest my head on his shoulder and whisper in his ear, “It’s me.” I expect him to calm down, but instead, Tweek turns around, punching me in the shoulder. “Ow!” I chuckle, falling on my back.

“Dammit Craig! Don’t scare me like that!” Tweek sighs, rolling his eyes as he turns back to the clothes he was pulling out of the box and folding. Those clothes would be neat and organized for a week tops. I sit up and scoot over next to him.

“I’m sorry, can I help you?” I ask, and Tweek shrugs.

“Are all the boxes in?” I sigh, they weren’t, but I was tired of bringing in boxes. It was probably smarter though to just bring the last of them though. I didn’t need to tell Tweek anything, as me standing up told him everything he needed to know. As I was about to head out of his room, the door is pushed open, PC Principal standing in the doorway with a stack of three boxes in his arms, the last of them. Well, that just made everything easier. He walks past me with a smile, setting them down on the floor, and I walk back towards Tweek as it looked like I didn’t need to leave now.

“These are the last of them,” He says, before starting back out of the room. “Strong Woman ordered pizza, it’ll be here in half an hour.” 

“Thanks, P… uh… I mean… thanks…. Dad….” Tweek responds, albeit not very confidently. He had been getting a little more used to the notion of his new parents, although part of him seemed to still be reluctant to totally submit to the idea. PC Principal, er, Tweek’s Dad(?), seemed okay with the effort that Tweek was putting in, however, and happily walks back out into the hallway.

Since I didn’t have to leave now, I sit right back down where I was before, joining Tweek. He rolls his eyes, probably at the fact that I just got out of finishing the job, but I don’t think he minded that much. After all, he does lean in, wrapping his arms around me as he rests his head against me. “You’re spending the night, right? I need to get used to this house and I need to wean off sleeping with you.” Tweek didn’t even need to ask, I had already planned on sticking around to help Tweek break in his new room.

“Mmhmm,” I nod, savoring Tweek’s closeness to me. PC Principal and Strong Woman weren’t as strict as my parents when it came to leaving us alone, although that didn’t mean that we didn’t sit through multiple lectures about consent and proper condom use and all that shit. Although, it wasn’t like those issues really applied to us right now. We were both completely content with cuddling and kissing for now. Despite the fact that we had been dating for three years now, we were still both nervous thirteen year olds when it came to anything more than a couple second long kiss. That was fine though.

We were supposed to be working on getting Tweek’s room set up, but there were only thirty minutes until we had to get up and eat, so I think we both knew there wasn’t any point to start anything now when we could just cuddle. I knew Tweek was thinking this too, as he communicates it to me by pushing on my body until I fall back onto his carpet, and he curls up next to me. Since the carpet was brand-new, and no one had really been in the room much before today, it was soft and clean. That, combined with Tweek’s warm body curled up next to me, made we want to fall asleep. It was so comfortable. I think we actually did fall asleep for a bit too. It was just so nice and quiet. Neither of us said anything, we didn’t need too. I run my hands through Tweek’s wild hair, and he nuzzles his nose into my neck. Sometimes, I felt like we could have conversations just through our fingers.Tweek had been fine being silent and boring with me, which I think said a lot. He was comfortable with me, and I was sure that he loved when were in a state where there was nothing for him to panic about. Nothing was too much pressure, it was just us, being boring and cheesily in love.

After a bit of a nap, Tweek does eventually stir, and I open my eyes as I feel him move next to me. We lock gazes for a moment but still don’t need to speak. Instead, Tweek leans in, and we both close our eyes again as our lips meet. Tweek’s lips were always rough and chapped, but they were warm and no matter how short a kiss from his was, I could always feel that passion behind it. Even if it was just a peck, he’d always shut his eyes tightly, pushing his lips against mine with an adorable fervor that I could never get enough of. I wrap my arms around his neck as I kiss back, only hoping that he enjoyed my kisses as much as I enjoyed his.

“Ew.” The word coming from the bedroom door causes Tweek to jump off me, screeching. I groan, lifting up a middle finger before even looking over. “We’re all eating, waiting for you, but it looks like your gay asses were just too busy sucking face to join us.” Kenny snickers and Tweek continues to yell, chasing him out of the room and down the hallway.

“Shut up! We were not you, asshole! We just fell asleep!” I smirk to myself as I force myself off the floor, trailing behind the two of them to join everyone else in the kitchen. Kenny better be careful, Tweek would absolutely beat his ass to a pulp if he kept teasing him like this. I join everyone in the kitchen soon enough, and luckily the room is filled with laughter instead of the sound of punching, which is a relief, even though I’d love to watch that happen. As there weren’t enough chairs at the table for all of us, I joined everyone in the kitchen, standing around the island counters where two large boxes of pizza laid open for grabbing hands. I slide in next to Tweek, who was munching on a slice of cheese while glaring across the way at Kenny who was chatting up Butters. I get a piece of pepperoni, gently nudging Tweek in his side with my elbow. He looks up at me, eyebrows furrowed.

“He just likes messing with you, don’t let him get to you.” I bite into the pizza, and Tweek huffs, his glare holding on Kenny before he sighs and turns to face me. “Besides… he was kinda right.”

“Craig!” Tweek slaps me with his pizza suddenly, his eyes immediately widening as he stares at the saucy stain he had left on my favorite Red Racer shirt. “Jesus! Sorry man! I wasn’t thinking!” He panics, dropping his slice down on a paper plate before running over to the sink. He takes a cloth, wetting it, and rushing back over wipe the sauce off me. Although he got most of the glob off, it was a white shirt, so that wasn’t going to help much. “Gah! Shit, it’s not coming off!”

“It’s okay, it’ll come off in the wash,” I shrug, it wasn’t like the shirt was ruined. Also, I didn’t want to look upset and make Tweek feel worse. It was an accident after all, even if he did try to hit me. Butters suddenly joins in the conversation, running over to us.

“I can throw it in the wash real quick for ya’ if ya’d like!” That would be preferable, as this was the only shirt I had on me and I wanted to sleep in it tonight. So, I nod, pulling my shirt over my head and handing it to Butters. He runs off, presumably to throw it in the wash, and I turn back to Tweek. His face was red, eyes averting from me completely.

“You okay Tweek?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. “You’ve seen me shirtless before. You were pretty much always shirtless when we all roleplayed too.” I didn’t think that he would be bothered by something like this.

“I-It’s different now!” Tweek defends himself with a huff, picking his slice of pizza back up to viciously chomp into it. I wasn’t going to argue, that was for sure, but it looked like I wasn’t going to have to fight him to look at me as an orange parka comes flying towards me. I catch it at the last minute, pulling it on.

“Thanks, Kenny,” It was weird seeing him without it. Even while I was getting used to seeing his face not hidden by the hood, he still seemed like an entirely different person without his parka. It was like a part of his character. He gives me a thumbs up with a naked arm and I turn to Tweek. “You can look at me now.” He does turn to look at me, eyeing up my new-look before looking to Kenny. His eyebrows raised, he fixes his gaze on the other for a second. Like me, it seemed like he hadn’t seen the other parka-less before. Who had?

Butters soon returns to the catching, not batting an eyelash at the sight of Kenny in just a white t-shirt. Well, I guess he had. It made sense, Butters was like an unofficial member of Stan’s gang, and they had probably known Kenny long enough to see him without his parka before. Now that Butters was back, I couldn’t help but suddenly notice that I was surrounded by blonde-haired, blue-eyed boys. Luckily, I had no interest in Butters or Kenny in that way, because otherwise, I would be in heaven. Anyway. I finally get the chance to return to my pizza. I needed it too since I was really hungry, I had been moving Tweek in all day after all. Tweek had also lost interest in staring at Kenny finally, looking back to me. I lift my non-pizza-holding hand to ruffle his hair, just to make sure everything was all good. He smiles, and I smile back. Nice.

“So, Butters and I were thinking of inviting the rest of the group over tomorrow to help break in the place. You guys should invite Clyde and them.” Kenny starts, and Tweek lights up at this idea, and I’m glad. He really had been doing better, especially when it came to social interaction. He actually wanted to hang out with people again. The medicine he had been taking and the therapy sessions really had been doing wonders.

“Yeah!” He nods enthusiastically, already pulling out his phone. He glances at me for a second before down at his phone, and types away for a moment before shoving it away back into his pocket. I feel mine buzz in my pocket, he must have sent a message to our group chat. I wasn’t as keen on the idea of hanging out with everyone as Tweek was, but I would do it for him. Also, I figured it would be nice for him, as I don’t think anyone ever went to his old house but me. He deserved to get to be the host of one of our get-togethers for once.

“I already asked mom an’ dad, they’re fine with it!” Butters seemed to get the hang of their new familial situation a lot faster than Tweek, but maybe that would help him get used to it too. 

“I don’t want to pizza two days in a row though, so we’ll need to think of something else to feed ten hungry dudes,” I add.

“I’ll cook!” Tweek smiles. “But it’ll be a lot of work to make food for everyone so you have to help me,” He nudges me with his elbow, and I smile back. Tweek was a really good cook after all, and if he enjoyed it, I’d be happy to support him.

“We can all help! Right, Ken?” Butters grins as he looks to Kenny, who takes a second as he’s suddenly thrown into cooking with everyone. “We’ll wake up early an’ make a bunch of food for everyone!” Kenny stares back at Butters for a moment, then at Tweek and I, before back at the other next to him.  
“Yeah sure,” He didn’t seem all that enthusiastic about the idea, but I didn’t think he wanted to disappoint Butters. I also didn’t think he wanted to be part of our conversation about waking up early to slave away in the kitchen. That became obvious as he steals away the last piece of piece, holding it his mouth as he takes Butters hand, and utters a muffled, “Let’s get your room ready for guests then.” With that, they disappear back upstairs. I turn to Tweek.

“We should probably do the same then babe. Your room is still entirely in boxes.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Tweek smiles and in a similar fashion, as Kenny did to Butters, he takes me by the hand and pulls me away back up to his room where we are greeted by box land again. While it was a relief that all the boxes were in his room, we still had to unpack them all and put everything where it belonged. At least we could do it together, and hopefully, if we were able to focus, we could get a good portion of the unpacking done tonight. Surprisingly enough, we were actually able to stay on track. 

We end up unpacking most of Tweek’s stuff, focusing on getting all the important stuff that he used day to day, like clothes and his computer, organized in his room. The boxes that we didn’t get to, we stacked nicely in the corner of the room to be unpacked later. Looking around at what we had accomplished so far, I had to say that this was the neatest Tweek’s room had ever been. I wondered how long it would stay so organized. At least it would for today and tomorrow while I was here. I had gotten my shirt back from the wash too, returning Kenny his parka to find that Butters’ room was not nearly as put away as Tweek’s. It looked like they had actually been the ones dicking around this whole time. 

With everything said and done, I flop down on Tweek’s nicely made up bed. “Alright, that’s enough for tonight. We can finish tomorrow.” I hold my arms open wide, hoping that told my boyfriend what I wanted without me having to say it. Luckily, by now in our relationship, he always knew what I wanted. Tweek smiles, striding over to flop down next to me on the bed. Man, we loved to cuddle. Physical touch was definitely our love language. From the gentle touches to hugs, to cuddling, we just enjoyed the presence of one another. The touch that reminded us that we were here, and we were together, and we were okay. It was warm and it was calming, and we could just lay together and enjoy feeling another human. It was real, we were real.

We were about to fall asleep again when simultaneous alarms go off on our phones. Tweek groans, curling up tighter again me, and I have to be the one to shut off both of the alarms because he wasn’t moving. “Mmm, come on Tweek, you have to take your meds.” I gently push on him, forcing myself to sit up. However, he just wraps his arms around my waist, whining as he tries to pull me back down.

“But they’re all the way downstairs… I’m fine. I took some this morning,” I frown, shaking my head and forcing up Tweek by pulling him up with me.

“Nope, you need to take them every day, morning and night,” I force Tweek out of bed with me, and he huffs, but reluctantly follows as I grip his hand in mine. I was worried about leaving Tweek alone now if he wasn’t going to take the medicine he needed to. Sure, I knew that there were some side effects, but he had been doing so much better lately. Maybe I’d talk to Butters to get him to make sure Tweek took his meds when I wasn’t here.

We find Tweek’s medicine on the counter back downstairs, and I take the opportunity to throw away the empty pizza box we left on the counter while he begrudgingly swallows his pills. When I return, I wrap my arms around the frowning blonde, leaning against the counter with him in my arm. “Craaaaaig,” He whines.

“I’m sorry, I just love you and want you to be healthy. Don’t be mad,” I whisper the words, as we were close enough that he could hear me just fine. I hear Tweek sigh before he shuffles around in my arms and turns to face me. He then lays his head on my chest when he responds.

“I know, I guess, I just feel like I don’t need to take it anymore. I feel fine! I don’t want to deal with the side effects when I don’t have to.” I frown, my fingers moving slowly through Tweek’s hair. I didn’t understand exactly how he felt, I couldn’t experience what Tweek was feeling, but I knew that he had to keep taking the medicine, even if he felt better right now.

“Just keep taking them until Dr. Norris tells you it’s okay to stop, alright?” I plead, pouting as I look down at Tweek with the biggest puppy eyes I could manage, and he stifled out a giggle.  I grin at that, eating up every ounce of I laugh I could get from him.

“Alright, fine, I will,” Tweek’s thin hands slide up to my cheeks, holding my face as he leans up on his toes and presses his lips to mine for a short second. When he pulls away, I was sure that the red in my cheeks were just as bright as the color in his own that I was looking at. “Now let’s go to bed, okay? We have to wake up early to get everything ready for everyone.” I nod, this time being the one to guide Tweek back upstairs to his new room.

* * *

 

I wake up before Craig as per usual. Even though I could sleep now, I guess I was just so used to getting so little sleep that I really didn’t need much. I roll over in bed, it was still too early to wake him up, so I slowly creep out of bed, tiptoeing out of my room. Downstairs in the kitchen, I find myself making my way to the coffee maker. I cut myself off from coffee right after… everything happened. I was scared. I was scared that I’d drink it again and end up right back where I started. Although, I couldn’t help it one day and I gave in. When it wasn’t Tweak blend, coffee was fine. Drinking coffee helped me cope while I was struggling with withdrawal. It didn’t satisfy my craving completely, but it sometimes worked as a placebo. That, and I just loved the warmth and the taste. Drugged or not, it turned out that I still loved coffee. I didn’t drink as much now, although I don’t think I went a morning without at least one cup. With said cup now in hand, I head back upstairs and slip back into bed with Craig. I take a sip of the warm drink before leaving it on the side table.

I lay there with him for an hour, slowly drinking my coffee and running my hands through his hair. While Craig seemed to always have his hands in my hair, his hair was always hidden under his hat. It was only in moments like this when I really got to mess with it. His stark black hair was silky and smooth opposed to my hair which was thick and coarse. I needed to be the one always covering up with a hat, not him dammit. Eventually, I didn’t think I could just lay here any longer. I shake Craig a little, whispering close to his ear. “Craaaaig, wake uuuuup…” He shifts next to me, and in a few moments, opens his eyes to look at me groggily. He groans, sitting up slowly, and I sit up to join him.

“I’m awake,” He yawns, lifting a hand to rub his eyes. I smile, the hair at the back of his head was messy, and I lift a hand to help smooth it back down. Craig stretches, and flops over onto me, pulling me into a hug. “First night in a new room, how did you sleep?”

“Good!” I nod, hugging Craig back close. I squeeze him a little, hoping that would help wake him up some. “Same bed, same bed warmer,” I nudge him a little just to make sure he knew I was talking about him. “So it wasn’t all too unfamiliar.” I notice Craig glancing over my shoulder at the clock on my bedside table.

“You got coffee already, you were up early.”

“I guess I’m just excited for today!” I pull away from Craig, deciding that if I started to get ready for today, he would get and follow. I was right, as once I wasn’t there it seemed he found the motivation to get out of bed, so he would soon be able to join me again.

“You are? Really?” He yawns again, going to his pile of discarded clothes at the end of my bed. “Why?” From the flat tone of his voice and the way he kept up his typical Craig-brand stoic expression, I could tell that he wasn’t nearly as excited as me. I guess I should have expected that. He really didn’t care about anyone but me and our little friend group. I knew he hated Cartman, as we all did, but I thought Stan and Kyle and them had been growing on him a little at least. But they were my friends! Sort of. But still somewhat friends!

“Yeah, I am! I’m excited to cook for everyone!” I was primarily excited to make a bunch of food with Craig and the others for the rest of our friends, but I think I was excited to hang out with everyone too. This past year had been so busy, I felt like I’d barely ever had a chance to talk to anyone besides Craig, and occasionally Clyde, Token, and Jimmy. Maybe this would give me an opportunity to get back into a normal social life, and I could drag Craig along with me. I knew that all my problems had kept him glued to me and only me lately. I didn’t want to keep him from living a normal life any longer.

“As long as you are,” Craig shrugs, walking over to me now that he was dressed. I had pulled on one of my green button-ups, and before I could even attempt to button it, Craig’s hands were in the way, buttoning it up for me.

“I can button up my shirts fine now!” It was true, I could do it fine now. I still twitched and jittered, but it wasn’t so severe anymore that I couldn’t dress myself.

“I know, but I like doing it,” Craig insists in his monotone, and I huff, but no longer protest, watching as his hands travel down my shirt, button by button. When he fastens the last button, his hands linger there for a moment, and he leans in, his lips connecting with my forehead softly. I can feel my face heat up, my eyes flicker from the bottom of my shirt up to Craig’s close face. When he pulls away, he pats my shoulder. “You can kiss me yourself too, but I still like doing it myself.” Dammit. I hated that he was right. I hated that I liked it too. I didn’t like relying on Craig for stuff, but at the same time, I loved him being here for me. I hoped that I was doing a good job of being here for Craig too.

We finish getting ready before heading downstairs, it was still pretty early, so no one was around, especially since it was Sunday. I had figured that everyone was going to sleep in, but it was fine, right now I only needed Craig to be my assistant anyway, anyone else who wanted to help could join in whenever. While we each got ourselves a bowl of cereal, and I take my morning medicine, before I start looking around the kitchen for food that could be used in making potential party refreshments. It looked like we were going to have to get creative with it. Given the sizes of our respective friend groups, there were going to be at least ten people here. There wasn’t a lot of one food that I could make that would feed that many people. That’s when I got a pretty fun idea. “Hey Craig, what if we made a bunch of fun snacks that people could munch on and take what they want?”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, but you’re the expert, so whatever you think is best.” With that confirmation of my idea, I look back into the pantry. With some more browsing, I eventually start pulling out ingredients, instructing Craig to get the equipment we’d need. Once everything was laid out in front of us, I find some aprons, handing one to Craig, I slip one on myself and roll up my sleeves. From my pocket, I pulled out a clip that Tricia had given me. My hair had gotten pretty long lately, and while I was actually pretty fond of the length and volume of my hair, it got in the way a lot. It annoyed me quite a bit when I’d cook back at the Tucker house, so Tricia let me have some hair clips to help keep it out of the way so I wouldn’t have to constantly brush strands away with messy hands. Craig liked when I pinned my hair back too, so what better reason to do it. Speaking of the devil, as soon as my hair was in place, the familiar nasally voice speaks up, “Cute.”

“Yeah, I am,” I stick my tongue out at Craig before placing my hands on my hips. “Time to get to work.” And I mean that, as I start giving Craig instructions to help on starting the few recipes I wanted to get to making. Craig isn’t exactly an amazing chef, but he listens to me, and that was all I needed to work with. After all, I didn’t plan on making anything too hard.

Butters and Kenny came downstairs and joined us eventually. Butters didn’t really know what he was doing much like Craig, but Kenny seemed to always be there to help him out. Speaking of Kenny, he was surprisingly helpful. I didn’t know much about him, he was mostly absent when I hung out with his group of friends, although I don’t remember why. That aside, I never thought I’d be able to get along with him. Kenny was a vulgar womanizer, or, at least that was what I thought. Sure, he could be annoying, but when his hood wasn’t covering his face, he was quiet. Instead of running his mouth with dick jokes, it was his eyes that did most of the talking.

He seemed to enjoy staring at people. Most of the time he watched Butters, but occasionally I’d noticed his gaze trained on Craig, and I’d caught him looking at me a few times too. It was like he was studying us. The thought made me shudder, what kind of information was he gathering? What about us was so interesting to him? He wasn’t planning anything, was he? When I locked eyes with him a few times, however, my paranoia would quell, because his dark blue eyes were a calm ocean. While Craig’s eyes were a forest, green and mysterious, I thought Kenny’s eyes told me a little more. That I didn’t have to be scared of him. Maybe that was why someone like Butters was such good friends with him.

I found myself staring back a little now, observing as Kenny places his hand over Butters’, adding a bit more power to the spatula he was using to mix some ingredients in a bowl. “O-Oh thanks, Ken!” Kenny’s hip presses closer to the smaller blonde’s, and I notice Butters lean a little closer in too. Were they… no way. Kenny was straight as a ruler, right? I glance over at Craig who was placing the food we were working on onto a baking tray. I decide to meet him at his side, standing as close to him as I could. When he feels me right there, he stops working, raising an eyebrow as his head turns to face me. “What is it, babe?” Babe. Ken. We both had nicknames for each other too.

“Is this normal?” I ask, keeping my voice low so the other two wouldn’t overhear me.

“What do you mean?”

“This,” I respond by pushing my body against his a little more for emphasis and then placing my hand on his. “Would you be weirded out if someone did this other than me?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess. But you’re my boyfriend so it’s normal.” With that, I stick out my thumb, pointing behind me to where Kenny and Butters were being really friendly. Craig looks over his shoulder, taking a second or two to process their interactions before he looks back at me.

“Damn. Is everyone gay now?” Despite the fact that Craig had made his voice even quieter now to keep that question between us, I can’t help but chuckle. It really did seem like we were turning everyone gay.

“Maybe. You’d think they’d tell us if they were though,” I say, knowing that the two of us were obviously some of the safest people to come out to.

“They might not be together yet too,” Craig suggests, “It could just be flirting…” Huh. He was right. I guess I didn’t really have any experience in flirting, after all, Craig and I really didn’t have a stage like that in our relationship after all. It took a fake break up for us to mutually realize our feelings for each other, and we just got together. While I did have a crush on Craig for some time before that, I never had the guts to actually flirt with him. That was way too much pressure.

“Do… do we flirt?” I bite my lip, punctuating my curiosity. Craig stops at that, looking up, thinking. I guess he wasn’t sure either.

“What counts as flirting? We tease each other sometimes, is that flirting?” Even while being one of the most stable and long-lasting couples at South Park Middle, we were probably both the worst at romance.

“Flirting?” I jump in place as Kenny’s voice suddenly appears at my left. I look over to see him leaning over towards me, his hands in his pockets, and the bowl he and Butters were working on now on the counter in front of me. Craig rolls his eyes at Kenny’s sudden appearance and steps away from the both of us.

“Butters, can you show me where the downstairs bathroom is again?”

“Oh sure, Craig!” Butters and Craig walk away at that, and I’m left alone with Kenny. Dammit Craig, why did you abandon me?

“What about flirting?” He continues to ask me, as I still hadn’t responded to his first inquiry about the subject of mine and Craig’s conversation.

“We were just talking about flirting,” I shrug, taking the bowl that he had brought over, starting to spoon out the mixture that they had prepared.

“Why?” He asks further, watching me intently now as he rests his face in his hands, leaning on the counter next to me.

“Because,” I huff, hesitating as I wasn’t sure how I should answer, “Why do you wanna know?”

“Because I wanna help you. If you have questions about flirting, I’m your guy.” A question bubbles in my throat at that, tempting to blurt out. I shouldn’t say it. I really shouldn’t say it. But I say it.

“Were you flirting with Butters?” Kenny’s somewhat smug expression softens, not saying anything for a few long seconds.

“You noticed? He wants to keep it down low, so don’t say anything, okay? I mean, you’re his brother now, so I think it should be fine if you know, but just for his sake…” So they were together then? Oh wow. It actually made me feel a little better to know that.

“I thought you weren’t gay,” I say, and Kenny shakes his head.

“Boy, girl, neither. It doesn’t matter to me, never did. Sure, titties are cool, but that’s not the most important thing to me.” Kenny didn’t have to say anything else for me to know what he meant. It was clearly Butters. I didn’t know much about their relationship, but it was clear he cared about him. 

When I noticed Butters and Craig were eventually at our sides again, we went back to work, getting the dishes cooking and eventually starting to place them in plates and bowls in a mock buffet line on the island counter for everyone to be able to grab from at their leisure. The deserts were still in the oven, but those were for later anyway. Just as we were finished making the buffet look nice, the doorbell rings. “I got it,” Craig wipes his hands before heading off the answer the door. I hear it open, some enthusiastic chattering in familiar voices before Craig returns to the kitchen, Jimmy, Clyde, and Token trailing behind him like ducks in a row.

I smile, pulling off my apron which I really didn’t need anymore to move around the counter in order to greet my friends. Now that I was all settled, hopefully, we’d all be able to hang out together again. I felt like I’d missed out on so much this past year, but it was reassuring to know that they were all waiting for me to catch up even as I lagged behind. “H-H-Hey Tweek!” Jimmy grins at me, and Clyde chimes in.

“Dude, this is a nice place. It’s not Token’s castle but it’s way better than the rest of our shitty houses.”

“My house isn’t a castle,” Token rolls his eyes, “It’s a mansion.” We chuckle, and I nod, looking around.

“It is nice, isn’t it? It’s taking some getting used to though.”

“Can we see your room?” Clyde asks, his excitement bursting at the seems as he was barely able to keep still.

“Sure!” I nod, starting to lead the group up the stairs, and as we walk, Craig slips his hand into mine. See, we didn’t need to flirt? We already knew what we wanted from each other. I take everyone up to my room, and this time I was actually more proud to show it off. Other than Craig, the rest of the gang had only seen my old bedroom once more, and it was just while they waited for me to get my coffee. My room was always a mess, but Craig has helped me organize this one, so it was nice. At least for now.

“Oh this is nice, you’ve got huge windows,” Token says, walking up to said windows on the wall opposite of my door. It was nice, the room felt a lot warmer and welcoming than my last one thanks to those windows. Although, despite wanting to continue to talk with everyone, I feel a wave of sickness suddenly crash down over me. It must have been obvious in my face, as everyone’s concerned attention is soon on me. Jimmy expresses the feelings for everyone.

“T-T-Tweek? What’s w-wrong?”

“Sometimes his medicine makes him feel sick,” Craig answers for me, which I am thankful for as I had a feeling more might leave my mouth than just words if I spoke up just now. With that, I excuse myself to the bathroom with a raise of my hand. I walk calmly out of the door, but once I’m out of the sight of those in the bedroom, I run.

Once I finally feel better, we head back downstairs, the doorbell had rung again a little while ago after all. We find Kenny and Butters in the living room along with Stan, Kyle, Cartman (ugh), and Wends. Speaking of Wends, they officially came out this year, asking everyone to call them Wends unless we knew what they were identifying as that day. Given the fact that their hair was tucked up in their hat and were wearing more masculine clothing, I assumed it was a Wendyl day. Most of the group runs up to greet everyone else, but I look over to see Craig still standing grumpily by my side. He still refused to get along with the rest of them. I knew he held a grudge against them all because of Peru, but that was years ago now. If you asked me, he was just being a big baby about it.

Rolling my eyes, squeeze his hand in mine and drag him along into the living room to join everyone else. “Tweek!” Wendyl seemed the most excited to see me, it had been a while since we had really hung out after all, but I thought we still were pretty close friends. Stan and Kyle look over and smile, they looked pretty pleased to see me too. “How have you been?” Wendyl asks, placing a hand on my shoulder. 

“Good! I mean, everything has been pretty hectic, but I’m finally all moved in and all the paperwork and shit is done with. Craig’s been helping me settle in, so, it’s good.” I smile and look up at him. He didn’t get too defensive when Wendyl talked to me, so he smiles back, but when he looks away he was giving the others a stink eye.

“Did you and Butters change your last names?” Kyle asks, and Butters answers this time.

“Oh, no, mom an’ dad didn’t change their last names when they got married. You know, bein’ PC an’ all, so they told us we could keep ours.” I nod in agreement.

“Tweek Tweak has always been my name, and even if it’s fucking weird, I think it’d feel weirder to try to go by a different name now.”

“What about Tweek Tucker? Do you think that would be a weird name change?” Stan chuckles, teasing us of course, but I can’t help but get hot in the face. Looking at Craig, even he seemed to get a little flustered at the thought. I wondered if he ever thought about us getting married. Well, if we ever did, I would much rather be a Tucker than a Tweak.

“Well, what about you  _ Marsh _ ? Would you rather be a Broflovski or a Testaburger?” Craig finally speaks up, and despite the fact that it was certainly meant to be a jab at Stan, he seemed to actually consider it.

“I don’t know you two, I don’t think I could ever call myself a Broflovski let alone a  _ Testaburger _ .” Wendyl huffs, punching him in the side which elicits a quiet, “ow,” from him as he rubs the area. 

“Shut up Stan, you’re so immature, it’s just a last name. You know it’s because my dad is German.” Kyle laughs at this, shrugging.

“I think we should all be Broflovski’s… and I think my mom would kill me if I didn’t stay one.” As we laugh, a groan bellows from a few feet away.

“Shut up Kahl. God, you fags are so  _ boring _ ,” I look over to see Cartman rummaging through the shelves of the TV stand. As I was about to yell at him, he gets up. “Butters, give me a tour.”

“Oh! Okay, Eric!” As they walk off together, Kyle groans, crossing his arms.

“Why did we let him come with us?”

“Butters invited him,” Stan explains, placing a hand on Kyle’s shoulder to rub him gently.

“Yeah I know, we still should’ve told him the wrong address or something though.” I didn’t notice it before but seeing the three of them stand before me now, side by side, Stan and Kyle had gotten taller than Wendyl. He used to be taller than most of us, other than Craig of course who had always been the tallest, but now they were both taller. Kyle was taller than Stan now too. I glance at him to Craig, and back. They seemed to be around the same height now. Hurry up and grow Craig, don’t let him beat you. Clyde then speaks up, saving the conversation from having to linger on 

“Why don’t we eat and watch a movie? You’ve got a dope ass living room and a huge TV now so...”

“Sounds good to m-m-me!” Jimmy adds and the others nod in agreement. With that, I skip back to the kitchen, coming back with a stack of plates to hand out to everyone.

“We made a bunch of food for everyone, so eat up!” I saw, and with that, the group gladly files over to the buffet to fill up their plates.

Cartman and Butters return to us eventually, and we all settle down on the couch and chairs, facing the TV as we munch off of the food-filled plates in our laps. As we get comfortable, I let my eyes travel around the group, first to Kenny and Butters who were sitting next to each other. They weren’t snuggled close like Craig and I were, but they were closer together than the others, well, aside from Stan, Kyle, and Wendyl. They were all over each other. The three were cuddling on the couch, Stan in the middle with Kyle and Wendyl on either side of him. They were both snuggling up close to him, and their hands were laying across his lap and intertwined with each other. It was really sweet. Having seen them grow from fighting each other in the hallway to being together for almost two years now, it would be inspirational if I wasn’t already in a happy relationship, although, it did aspire me to be a little more lovable with my boyfriend. I nuzzle my head into Craig’s chest, scooting in closer and shifting my legs around to drape them over his lap. This gets his attention, and he looks down at me, wrapping his arm around my torso to tuck me close, his face leaning down to gently kiss my forehead.

I hear a noise from across the way at that, and I look over to Cartman glaring over angrily. He sticks out his tongue at me when I look over, shifting his loathing gaze from us to Stan, Kyle, and Wendyl, specifically Kyle. I had no idea where all the contempt towards Kyle came from, but Cartman clearly did not like watching Kyle snuggle with his partners. Whether it was anger over his happiness or jealousy, I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t going to bother myself with worrying about Cartman of all people, so I turn my attention back to the movie. Although, I really wasn’t paying attention to whatever was happening on the TV screen, I was just happy reveling in this great cuddle session.

* * *

 

I lean against the counter, taking the last brownie from the tray to take a bite out of it. Even though it had been sitting out for a while, the inside was still as warm as it was fudgy, and I let the chocolate fill my mouth with pleasure. Tweek was good at cooking, but he was a prodigious baker. I hear a yawn from over in the living room, and I make my way over to see who was awake now. Everyone who was here earlier had left by now, and Tweek, Butters, and Kenny had fallen asleep on the couch. Although now the latter was sitting upright, his arms stretching up over his head. “Sleep well, princess?” I ask from behind him, and Kenny flops his head and arms back over the edge of the couch to look at me.

“You know it,” He grins at me, and my attention is only focused on him for a moment before my gaze falls to Butters who was curled up in his lap. While I wasn’t sure what their relationship was exactly, they did seem pretty cute together, and I wouldn’t mind another gay couple to help in the LGBT takeover of South Park. My phone then vibrates in my pocket, and I didn’t have to check it to know what it was. I told my parents I would be home tonight. Sighing, I then look to Tweek fast asleep on the couch. I didn’t want to leave him while he was sleeping, but he also looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to wake him up. Well, I could at least tuck him in.

“I’ve got to head home, I’ll see you at school tomorrow,” I say, not really caring if my conversation with Kenny was literally just a hello and then a goodbye. I then move over to Tweek, gently slipping both my arms under him to lift him up. He luckily doesn’t wake up when I’m holding him close to me, bridal style, my grip strong enough, so I won’t drop him but not too tight as to not disturb him. With confidence in my hold, I head to the stairs to bring Tweek up to his room. God, I was glad there was such a drastic size difference between us, otherwise, I never would have been able to carry him upstairs.

I lay Tweek down on his bed, changing him carefully into some pajamas as I knew he’d thank me for that later, and then tucking him in nice and cozily. With that, I find a post-it note and a pen from his desk to write him a cheesy note for him to wake up to. “ _ You fell asleep on me, sleeping beauty, I’ll see you at school. Love, Craig.”  _ The sweetness hurt my teeth, but I knew he always appreciated the affection from me. Well, less like appreciated and more like demanded, but that’s what I loved about Tweek. With a soft press of my lips to his forehead, I whisper a “good night honey,” and gently close his door behind me. As I make my way outside, I respond to my parent’s messages, letting them know I’d be home shortly.

 

The next week was a little rocky, and I figured it was due to the changes. Tweek was a little more down at school, he didn’t contribute much to our conversations at lunch, and he was being more absent-minded and disorganized than usual. I’m sure it was tough, having to get used to a completely different way of life once again. First, he had to completely cut something out of his life that he had been relying on for almost all of it and had to deal with the realization that his parents had totally betrayed him, and just when he was getting used to that, everything changed again. He had another new family, a new brother, and it wasn’t just that he was living with them. They were a real family now. He’d have to adjust to a whole new everything. Not to mention he wasn’t sleeping with me anymore, and I figured that must be hard, given it was for me.

I had grown so accustomed to the feeling of Tweek snuggled up close to me, his scent, his body heat, it was like a security blanket. We both had to get used to not being together all the time again, although, this would probably make the time that we did get to spend together even sweeter. All that aside, I was worried about Tweek, but I knew that it was just going to take time for him to adjust. Really all I could do was support him at the moment. We hung out as much as we could and I made sure to send him a lot of pictures of Stripe to make up for the fact that he didn’t see him every day anymore. I think Stripe missed Tweek too. Speaking of Stripe, I was posing him on my bed to get him ready for his nightly picture to Tweek.

Just like Clyde had recommended, we got Stripe some little guinea pig outfits to give him more wardrobe variety than just a pirate. We even found a cute little nightcap which was what he had on his head right now, and he was chewing on one of his treats which made it even cuter. I get in position in order to capture the perfect angle, and open snapchat on my phone, snapping a damn good picture if I do say so myself. I then add a “ _ Stripe says goodnight :3 _ ” (the :3 being Stripe’s face, of course, I would never type that myself) and cover the whole damn image in stupid emojis. I send my masterpiece to Tweek, then relieve Stripe of his posing duties, taking the hat off him and scooping him back into my arms. With a kiss on his little head, I set him back in his cage. Now for a shower.

Once I’m out and clean, drying myself off with a towel, I go to check my phone again. Normally I would be greeted with a response from Tweek, although instead, I see three missed calls from Butters. Confused, I start to call him back, but I get another call from him before I get the chance, so I go ahead and answer. “Hello?” I ask, and I my ear is immediately accosted with the sound of familiar, distant screaming, and then a timid accented voice.

“Craig? Um. Tweek… he’s kinda freakin’ out.”

“Yeah, no shit, I can hear him. What’s going on?”

“I don’t know! I thought he was sleepin’ but then he just burst int’a my room screamin’ about ya’!”

“About me?”

“Yeah! He keeps sayin’ that he doesn’t know where you are an’ ya’re either been kidnapped or dead!” This didn’t sound good. It sounded like a typical Tweek paranoid delusion, but those shouldn’t be happening while he was on his medication.

“Put him on the phone,” I say, and I hear Butters move closer to the screaming, and a muffled back and forth loud conversation before I’m pretty sure Butters just shoves the phone into Tweek’s hands. “Tweek,” I speak loudly into the phone, hoping to catch his attention.  
“AHhH!” That was Tweek alright.

“Tweek,” I repeat, “Tweek, do you hear me?”

“What do you want from me!?” He shouts, and I have to pull the phone away from my ear for a second. Ow. 

“Tweek, it’s Craig, listen to the sound of my voice,” I speak calmly and clearly, and after a moment of relative silence, I hear him again in a significantly calmer tone.

“Craig?” He questions, his voice cracking.

“It’s me, I’m all good, okay? I’m fine.”

“You’re sure? You’re fine? You promise?” His questions are more like demands, coming through the phone sternly as if to say I better really be fine, or else.

“I’m sure, I promise.” I hear Tweek sigh into the phone, taking a deep breath. I didn’t want to have to interrogate him immediately after he had an episode, but I needed to. “Have you been taking your meds?” He doesn’t respond at first, and I just hold the phone in silence for a good few seconds until I finally hear him.

“Urgh, no… But I thought I was getting better!”

“You felt better because you were on medication, if you go off it then you’re going to go back to how you were again.” God dammit, I told Butters to make sure that he was taking his medicine every day. 

“.... I know I just… I hate the symptoms,” By the tone of his voice, I could tell Tweek was pouting. “It feels awful and I feel awful and I just don’t want to have to deal with it anymore and I hate remembering to take my medicine urgh it sucks!”

“So it’s better to deal with what you were before?” Despite the fact that I was saying that to get Tweek to admit that life was easier on the medicine, I really did mean the question. If he preferred this, I wasn’t going to force him to continue with the medication, and I was going to be here for him either way.

“... No.” That’s what I thought.

“You need to take your meds, okay? Take them before you go back to bed. And check your phone. You didn’t respond to my Stripe picture and now he’s sad.”

“AgH! Oh no! I didn’t check! He’s sad? Gah! Tell him I’m sorry! I’ll go respond right now!” I chuckle at that, Tweek was something.

“Don’t forget to take your meds!” I add just as he gives the phone to Butters back. “Make sure he takes his meds,” I say to Butters.

“O-Oh! Okay! Thanks for the help, Craig…”

“No problem, I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

“See ya!” Butters chimes in and we hang up. I groan once we were no longer connected, and flop back on my bed. Oh, Tweek. Why did you have to be so difficult sometimes? You should be lucky I love you. I wanted to help though. Obviously, he was having problems, and I didn’t want to just force him to suffer without trying to help somehow. So, I turn to Google. I change out of my just-a-towel look, and put on some pajamas, before lying back down and starting to search around on the internet. I wanted to see if there was something out there that could help with Tweek’s symptoms. I thought maybe something like yoga, I don’t know, is that how that worked? Yoga seemed like the magic exercise after all. Although, after some intense googling, I didn’t think yoga was the answer I was looking for. No, the real answer surprised me more, and it was going to require a lot more research. As I was about to dive in deeper, I get a snapchat from Tweek. Finally. I open it to see the blonde, looking disheveled and tired, but he was winking at the camera, blowing a kiss with a “ _ goodnight stripe ily <3!” _

“Tweek says goodnight and that he loves you,” I call over to Stripe’s cage, and he squeaks in response. He knew Tweek’s name, which I found adorable. I respond with my own picture and an  _ “ily too babe <3 (so does Stripe) _ .” And now that I was filled with a newfound motivation from his seeing his sweet face, it’s back to the internet to find that special boy a means of relief.

 

I rarely ever went to Kenny’s house, and I went here alone even less. Actually, I didn’t think I’d ever been here alone. It wasn’t really someplace you wanted to go alone after all, and just looking at the state of his house and it’s surrounding area, I couldn’t help but feel bad for Kenny. Was I the only one in South Park who had a decent family situation? At least Tweek and Butters were okay now. I was putting off what I came here for though, instead of just standing here like an idiot for much longer, I knock. It was quiet for a long moment before I finally hear someone messing with the other side of the door, and it finally opens. Kenny stands in the doorway, and I’m relieved it’s him and not any of his other family members. “Craig?” He questions my presence with a raised eyebrow, and honestly, I expected to be here just as much as he did.

“Yeah, that’s me. Can we talk?” I ask, but I’m already stepping inside.

“Uh yeah,” Kenny gestures me inside, closing his front door behind him. “No one else is home so,” He starts, leading me over to his ratty couch which he flops down on, and I follow suit. Given that it was just him and I in the room, I guess I didn’t need to try to skirt around the topic at hand and could just be blunt to him, which is what I’d rather do anyway.

“I heard you sell weed,” Kenny is taken aback, staring at me for a moment before breaking into a grin.

“You do? You wanna smoke together? Aww, I’m flattered you finally want to bond with me, Craig.” I sigh, shaking my head.

“No, I don’t. Never have, but I think it could help Tweek.” Kenny raises an eyebrow at that, and I go on to elaborate. “He needs to take his medicine to help with his psychosis, but he hates the side effects, but weed will probably help with that.”

“So you just wanted to get weed from me?”

“Kinda yeah. You do sell weed, right?” I ask, and Kenny hesitates before nodding.

“It’s a good income, and stupid high schoolers will pay absurd prices,” He shrugs and I wasn’t about to judge him. If I were him, I’d probably want to get some extra cash in any way possible.

“So how much?” I ask, pulling my wallet out of my pocket, but Kenny shakes his head.

“Nah don’t worry about paying,” As I was about to insist, the blonde gives me a toothy grin, “You can treat Butters and me to dinner instead. We can make it a double date. How does that sound?” A double date? My suspicious had probably been right after all. 

“That sounds good to me.” Kenny wasn’t all that bad after all.

 

Next Saturday night, I wait out on the sidewalk in front of Tweek and Butter’s house for our date. I hadn’t told Tweek about the ulterior motive behind said date, but frankly, I didn’t want to ruin what would probably be a good night in case something went wrong. I wasn’t sure how Tweek would react to my proposition after all. I didn’t want to think about it going wrong though, so my mind travels to the other thing that I had been wondering about. Was this whole double date thing a way for Kenny to come out? I had my suspicions, and Butters had been pretty flustered when I told him the plans. I guess I’d probably find out.

I hear the front door opening behind me, and I turn back to see Tweek and Butters coming over. Getting up, I brush my pants off and stick my hands in my pockets as we meet up.

“Hey, Craig!” Butters chimes and Tweek stands at my side, making it easy for me to lean down and kiss his forehead.

“Hey,” I respond to both of them.

“Where are we going?” Tweek asks, looking up at me and linking his arm in mine.

“Denny’s,” I say simply and Tweek raises an eyebrow.

“Denny’s? We’re going on a date to Denny’s?”

“If I have to pay for four people’s dinners, we’re going to eat at Denny’s,” I roll my eyes, and Tweek huffs, pouting up at me.

“I can pay for myself you know!”

“Yeah, I know, but if I’m already paying for three people, might as well pay for my boyfriend too. Now come on, Kenny is meeting is there.” I start walking, dragging Tweek along with me, and Butters gladly follows along with us.

Kenny is waiting for us in the Denny’s parking lot, waving when he sees us all come into view, and Butters gets a little more skip in his step when he sees the other, going up to join him. Kenny slings his arm around Butter’s shoulders as he looks to Tweek and I. He grins at me, “Boy, I sure am hungry,” Oh God, this dude was going to drain me of every penny I had.

“Then let’s not waste our time out here,” I roll my eyes, leading everyone inside the restaurant. We get a table and sit down, each couple across from each other, and start looking at the menu. I’m immediately drawn to whatever is cheapest, wanting to balance out Kenny’s wrath on my wallet as much as possible. You know, it probably would have been cheaper to just buy some weed from Kenny straight up. Oh well, he got me. At least we all got to spend time together this way, which wasn’t bad. I wanted to warm up to Butters and Kenny anyway, especially when Tweek was already getting along with them so well.

“What are you gonna get Butters?” Tweek asks, and I look over to them, watching their conversation. I was glad the two of them were close, having a brother would be good for Tweek.

“Oh boy, I don’t know, but breakfast fer dinner sounds real nice…”

“I thought so too man, but so much of this looks like it’d give me a freaking heart attack!” I silently chuckle to myself. Despite Tweek’s convictions against the Denny’s menu, we did all order, and Kenny made sure the waiter and I both knew that he would be ordering a round two later. Thanks, Kenny. When we had all ordered and now that we were just going to be waiting for our food to get here, I decided I might as well try to bring up our after dinner plans as casually as possible. I knew it would be better for Tweek if I at least brought it up in advanced instead of right beforehand.

“Hey, Tweek, honey,” I start, buttering him up with the nicknames. He rolls his eyes, but at least I have his attention. “How are you feeling today?”

“Ugh, you know, I’m fine just I can get feeling shitty. It hasn’t changed, it’s the same dumb side effects.” That’s what I expected to hear.

“I figured, but that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I think I found something that can help when you start feeling the worst of the side effects. Kenny helped me get my hands on it, so I thought we could all try it out together after dinner.” Sure, I hadn’t explained exactly what it was yet, but at the notion of getting rid of those pesky side effects, Tweek noticeably perks up.

“Oh? Go on…”

“Well,” I hush my voice, keeping my tone low when bringing up this next topic. While marijuana was now technically legal in Colorado, we were obviously under twenty-one. It wasn’t exactly legal for four thirteen year olds to have possession of weed. “It’s kinda… marijuana.” I finally say the word, I can see it processing for a good minute in Tweek’s brain before he slams his hands down on the table, pushing himself up as his eyes go wide, staring at me incredulously.

“ _ Drugs _ man? What makes you think-“ As the kid screams out the word “drugs,” people obviously turn to stare. I gently shush Tweek, and he suddenly stops, looking around the restaurant self-consciously, before sitting back down and lowering his volume.

“What the fuck Craig? What makes you think putting  _ me  _ back on drugs is a good idea?”

“Tweek, honey, weed is nothing like meth. It’s not addictive, hell it’s even  _ good _ for you.” As I explain this, Kenny chimes in.

“It really is. Even  _ Butters _ here enjoys it.”

“Really?” Tweek turns to stare at Butters who nods sheepishly when the attention was turned to him.

“I-I’ve only done it a couple times but, it’s not bad!” Tweek nods at that, looking back to me.

“You’re sure it’ll make me feel better?”

“That’s what it’s supposed to do,” I explain, “I wouldn’t have even suggested it if I didn’t think it would help you feel better. I hate seeing you feel so sick.”

“Well, I’ll think about it while we eat… Are you gonna do it with me?”

“We all are.”

“Okay…” Tweek nods slowly, thinking to himself. I really hoped he would agree, I just wanted him to feel better. Hoping to comfort him, I wrap an arm around Tweek and lean against him.

“It’ll be okay,” I whisper against the side of his face, causing him to shudder, but I can tell he’s smiling now from how he giggles quietly.

“God you two are so gay,” Kenny chimes from the across the table, and Tweek is the one to bark back at him.

“You’re one to talk. You and Butters are incredibly gay.” Kenny smiles, wrapping his arm around Butter’s shoulders to pull him close to his body. Butter’s face lights up red, and he looks around, chewing on his bottom lip. 

While Tweek and I were pretty used to being openly gay and a couple at this point, practically everyone in South Park new about us. Kenny didn’t really ever seem to care what anyone thought about him, the McCormicks had a pretty awful reputation in the first place, but Butters certainly was a lot more nervous about their relationship being public at all. Maybe he had talked to Tweek about it, but the only reason I had even an idea about it was from my own perceptions and my interactions with Kenny and Tweek. I could understand Butter’s fear though, at least I thought I could. From what I understood, he used to live in constant fear of his parents who took disciplinary action towards every little thing he did. I remember they even once tried to send him to some “pray-the-gay-away” camp for some shit the fatass had done to him. While PC Principal and Strong Woman were some of the most open-minded adults in South Park, it probably would still be hard for Butters to be able to be open about stuff he was so used to hiding. Hell, I remember how wary I was around my dad for a while even after he finally told me that he’d accept me being gay. However, maybe that acceptance was all he needed in order to calm down about anyone finding out about him and Kenny. I wondered if the others knew, Stan and Kyle… they’d obviously be supportive, right? Who knew though? Not me that was for sure. I didn’t even know why I was thinking about Butters so much anyway. I guess it was just nice to think about the other LGBT people in South Park since it wasn’t just Tweek and me anymore.

Eventually, our food comes, and we dig into our incredibly unhealthy breakfast for dinner meals. Just as Kenny had made clear, he made sure to order more food when we were finished. Although, unexpectedly, he doesn’t actually eat it but rather takes it out in a to-go box. After that, I’m treated with the check. Oh god, it was high. Even if it wasn’t a lot per person, it added up together. I groan, pulling out all the cash I had in my wallet and it was just enough.

“Craig, let me pay for my share,” Tweek speaks up, trying to hand me some cash of his own. I shake my head.

“Nah, I got this, I took you out, so I’m paying for you. And I’ve got to pay for them, it’s part of our deal. If you wanna take me out for dinner next you can pay… and you probably will have to if we wanna go out again anytime soon.” I explain, now waiting for the waiter to come and take back the check. Tweek rolls his eyes, patting me on the back.

Once everything is all paid for, we leave a tip and head back outside to the parking lot, I turn to Tweek, opening my mouth, but he speaks suddenly before I get the chance too. “Okay. I’ll do it.” Well, that made things easier.

“Sweet,” Kenny smiles, “Let’s go.” He leads the four of us around the back of Denny’s, plopping down on the curb in the more isolated area. The rest of us sit next to him, watching as he pulls all the “supplies” he needs from out of his parka pockets. It’s a good thing that the weed he was apparently just carrying in his pocket didn’t fall out earlier. He doesn’t waste any time, rolling us a joint. Butters seemed pretty used to this, which I still was pretty surprised about. Butters smoked weed too huh? Tweek was watching Kenny intently though, he probably wanted to make sure that nothing was getting slipped into it or something, not that he didn’t trust Kenny, but he was always nervous. “See, it’s just a plant.” He says, glancing at Tweek as he notices him watching, his fingers but in his mouth as he nibbles on them nervously.

“Yeah… just a plant.” Tweek nods, and I slip his hand into mine, squeezing with the hope to be a comforting force right now. I wanted Tweek to feel safe, especially since I knew how he felt about drugs now.

Kenny takes the joint, roasting the end of it for a bit before placing it between his lips and giving it a few short puffs as he holds the lighter to the end before he takes it out and smiles at Tweek. “Wanna go first?”

“What do I do?” Tweek asks, lifting a hand to take the joint, but then hesitates, lowering his fingers to close off his hand from receiving it.

“Just take a slow, deep breath, then pause for a couple seconds, then exhale slowly,” Kenny explains, and Tweek nods, opening his hand back up to take the joint. He was really going to do it. I could see his mind racing as he stared at the thing, but he and I both knew he could do it. Suddenly, he lifts it to his lips and does as Kenny instructed, inhaling deeply. A few seconds later, however, he’s coughing, holding the joint back out to Kenny. I pat his back as he coughs, hearing Tweek groan.

“It burns.” 

“Yeah, that’s to be expected for your first time. Don’t worry about it, you’ll get used to it.” Kenny explains, taking a hit himself, then Butters, before holding it out to me now. “Wanna go, Tucker?” I wasn’t going to let Tweek and Butters show me up, so I immediately take it. I look at it for a second before copying what the others did, holding it to my lips and inhaling deeply. It’s a strange, unfamiliar sensation. I can feel the smoke traveling down my windpipe and filling my lungs, it’s hot and the burning sensation is extremely unpleasant, and just like Tweek, I can’t help but cough. This time, Tweek reaches out to rub my back.

We pass the joint between the four of us, and gradually it gets easier for Tweek and me to take hits without having a coughing fit. In the minutes that pass, I think I can finally feel the high hitting me. I look over, Butters is laying on Kenny’s lap and the two are giggling away, being very touchy-feely with each other. I find myself unable to help but chuckle too, facing Tweek now. He was laying on his back, so I decided to flop back and lay with him on the cold, hard concrete.

“The sky is… so fucking pretty. Ya know? Like…. All the stars and shit.” Tweek says, lazily pointing nowhere in particular but up before his hand flops back down on his stomach.

“I love the stars dude, I know. They’re pretty... You’re prettier though.” I grin, and Tweek turns to me, looking for a second before we both break into giggles. He turns to lay on top of me, our foreheads pressed together as we both laugh at absolutely nothing. Tweek nuzzles into my face, and I lift my hands into his hair, pressing kisses all over his cheeks.

“I love you man,” Tweek giggles with me, and I nod.

“I love you too, how do you feel dude?”

“Reeeeeally good,” Tweek grins, “Not sick at all, I feel sooooo much better.” I’m beaming too at that. It’s exactly what I wanted. I just wanted Tweek to feel good. In a burst of happiness, I kiss Tweek fully on the mouth this time, and he squirms on top of my before rolling off, breaking the kiss as he flops back on the concrete next to me. I look over again to see Kenny and Butters swapping spit too. I was waiting for that. Then, my stomach growls. Ah, that was why Kenny took more food to go. I pull my arm up, it felt heavy and I didn’t want to move, but I had to lean over to grab the to-go box, snatching a piece of bacon to chomp down on it. “Craig!” I hear Tweek call from below me. “Grab me some food too.” I turn back to Tweek, placing another piece of bacon in his mouth, and he chews it up without lifting a finger. What talent. God, I loved him.

* * *

 

Tweek really liked weed. I wasn’t really expecting him to get so into it. It was a good bonding activity for him, Butters and Kenny I realized. The four of us were really starting to get close, and that wasn’t a bad thing. However, despite the fact that I had been the one to get Tweek into this form of self-medication, I was starting to get worried. While marijuana was a great painkiller, it was still a drug, and upon doing more research, it could make Tweek’s paranoia a lot worse. I was all for Tweek feeling better, but I didn’t want him to end up making himself feel worse in the process.

Tweek and I were watching a movie, cuddled up on the couch, and I was very happy to enjoy the time that it was just the two of us. Sure, Butters and Kenny were nice, but I enjoyed the alone time the most. I drape my arm over him, and Tweek leans against me. I look over, and he notices my gaze on him, turning from the television screen to meet my eyes. “How you feel babe?”

“Hm? Good.” Tweek says, looking back to the movie. I let him watch it for a few minutes more before I grab his attention again with my voice once more.

“Do you ever think about the risks? Of smoking, I mean. I know I’m the one who encouraged you to use it but…” I start, and when Tweek turns back to me with a deep frown and furrowed brows, I regret deciding to bring this up now. I just wanted to keep cuddling.

“What? I thought the whole reason you said I should do it was because there weren’t any risks.”

“I know I did, but I’ve been doing a lot more research and apparently it can have effects on people with mental illness… it can make it worse. I don’t think it means you need to quit, but I think you should just be careful.” As I say this, Tweek sits upright, his eyes wide and staring at me.

“So you get me into this thing that’s helping me, and then all of a sudden you _ actually _ do your research then tell me to stop because it might hurt me after all?” Tweek was raising his voice, fuck, I didn’t want to fight.

“You don’t need to get upset at me Tweek, I was trying my best to find help for you as soon as possible! Everything I told you before it still true! It’s not addictive, it’s generally healthy, and it  _ can  _ still help you, and it does, doesn’t it?” I start, hoping that will ease his mind.

“That doesn’t matter though! What matters though is now I don’t know what to do! You just decided to bring this shit up out of nowhere! What am I supposed to do? Decide between feeling good and risking worse shit or dealing with feeling sick?” At that, I don’t know what to say and look away. I’m not sure what I expected from Tweek upon bringing up my concerns. I guess I just wanted him to know? But then again, I was asking him to choose between being sick and being… well... Sick. I wasn’t helping at all, was I? “And you know what, why didn’t you discuss this all with me properly in the first place? You hid your idea from me until we were at a double date at Denny’s! I don’t care if Kenny helped you or whatever, you could have brought the idea up with me before! We could have talked about it together! We both could have decided what would be best for me, and we could have done proper research!” He was right.

“I…” 

“You don’t need to explain yourself, Craig. I know why you didn’t. You couldn’t trust me to listen, right? You thought I’d immediately freak about the prospect of drugs and shut you down completely or freak out or something? You thought you had to put me in the moment to pressure me to listen to you, huh?” Tweek’s face tightens as he sits up rigidly, his words harsh as he barks them out me. Fuck. He was so right. Hearing the way he put my actions, my stomach lurched. 

“Tweek…. You don’t need to get so pissed. Yeah, I messed up, but you know that I just wanted what’s best for you!” Why did I say that? Why did I defend myself? I was wrong. I guess I had a hard time rolling over belly up. 

At my words, Tweek jumps up from the couch, blocking the light from the television, although it wasn’t like either of us were paying attention anymore. “No! Craig, you don’t always know what’s best for me! You’re not me! I’m me! You’ll never be able to understand how I feel or what I go through, okay? Stop acting like you’re my fucking mom and act like my boyfriend!” Oh god. As I stare, unable to make the right words come out, Tweek was storming off, getting his coat and putting on his shoes. “You can’t even apologize? Do you even want to be my boyfriend then?” Tweek glares at me before heading to the door. Oh no. If I didn’t do something, and he walked out that door like this, things weren’t going to be okay. I suck down my pride and jump to my feet.

“Tweek!” He stops. “I’m sorry!” I feel my face get wet. I didn’t care if I was crying or looked like an idiot. I had to let Tweek know that I knew I was wrong. “Fuck I… you’re right. Everything you said was right. I was selfish and wrong and that’s not how I’m supposed to treat you. I got so worried I let it fuck up everything in my head and I wasn’t thinking about you. I wasn’t. I just wanted you to stop hurting and I let that get in the way of what you wanted. I assumed I’d have to force you to think the same way I was, but I didn’t even think of asking you. I…. That was so messed up Tweek. I was messed up. I’m so sorry. I want to be your boyfriend, I love you so much Tweek. I fucked up because I love you so much. I don’t want you to forgive me but please don’t leave until I know that it’s not for good.” I hiccup, sniffling back my tears as I look to Tweek, studying his face for a reaction. His expression was tight, frowning, he was studying me back. Suddenly, he walks back over, wrapping his arms around me to hug me tight.

“I’m not leaving you man, fucking idiot.” I sniffle as I return the hug, holding Tweek close and relishing in his body heat. “I just wanted to hear you admit you were wrong.” He goes quiet for a second, his face buried in my shoulder.

“I promise I won’t do something like that again. I’m going to do better, I swear.”

“You can’t be perfect all the time.”  Tweek starts, his hand slipping under my hat to rub my hair. “Just most of the time.” I sputter out a small laugh before pulling away to look at Tweek. He was smiling finally, so I smile back.

“I don’t want to fight with you,” I say, lifting my hands to hold Tweek’s cheeks.

“We fight because we love each other,” Tweek responds, and I nod, leaning in to kiss him gently. He returns to motion, pressing into me and I start taking his coat off as I assumed that he wasn’t leaving now. However, he pulls back, grabbing my hands to keep the jacket on. “Hold on.” He starts, “You get your jacket too.” I raise an eyebrow, but I don’t argue, certainly not now. I get my jacket as he explains, putting my shoes on him as I wait for him to explain, but he doesn’t. Instead, he takes my hand, pulling me along out the door. Hopefully, my parents wouldn’t leave their room to find me missing. I walk along with him, bracing the cold night air as we close my front door behind me and head down the sidewalk.

Hand in hand, we silently journey down the dark streets until I realize we were heading to Stark’s Pond. I smile, squeezing Tweek’s hand to get his attention. When he glances at me, I ask, “What are we going to the pond for?”

“Because you made me mad so now you have to do whatever I want, and I want to go to Stark’s Pond.” I roll my eyes. Of course, but I wasn’t complaining. This was my favorite spot. Our favorite spot. Eventually, we reach the park, and we both know exactly where to go; our tree. The tree with our initials that we carved into it three years ago. It was still standing strong, and being here always brought back sentimental memories. I even regarded the incident with the Asian girls fondly, but then there was also when we finally confessed our feelings for each other, and our first date, and the time that we carved the letters into the bark itself. I place my hand in the heart, and it takes up more space inside it than it did when we first took the knife to the bark. We were getting bigger, older… we were growing up. I could only hope that my hand never got too big for this heart. I didn’t want to grow out of it. 

Tweek’s hand was smaller than mine, but he places it on top of mine to curl our fingers together. I turn my hand around to hold it properly and look back to Tweek. “We’ll always be here for each other, right?” He says, “We promised.” That’s another thing that I remember, and I’ll never forget it.

“Right. Always.” Of course, I knew that we were both only thirteen. Neither of us knew where our life was going to take us or what was going to happen from here. However, our initials in this tree were permanent. Somehow, I couldn’t help but feel connected to the tree. We both were. It was as if we made our love for each other permanent here too. Maybe that was just part of the magic of South Park. Somehow, in a sea of billions of people, Tweek and I were somehow born right next to the person we were destined to spend eternity with. Even if we sometimes fought, there was no place we’d rather be aside from right next to each other.

“I want to promise something else to you.” I start, “No matter how much I fuck up, I’ll always love you. I can’t imagine another life where I’m not with you.” As I say that words that sound straight out a cheesy romcom, I can feel my face get hot. Tweek turns bashful too, looking down at his shoes with pink cheeks. He suddenly looks up though, leaning on his toes to press his lips to mine. I hold him, pushing back into the kiss for a second until he breaks it.

“You’re so fucking embarrassing,” He grins, punching me in the shoulder, “But I promise too.” That hurt. I chuckle, gripping where he hit me. Tweek was strong. He was strong inside and out, and I wasn’t about to let myself forget that. He knew what he wanted, and was full of the fighting spirit he needed to get it. I was here, so he didn’t have to do it alone, but I knew that I didn’t need to do anything for him. Tweek wasn’t just a flower, he was a forest. A strong, dense thick of trees, and in the center, was a patch of the most beautiful flowers anyone had ever seen. 


End file.
